


Brave New Hope

by Vicky



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-13
Updated: 2010-10-13
Packaged: 2017-10-12 15:42:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 27,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/126473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vicky/pseuds/Vicky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Everything seems new / Have to get to know my friends again"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Vous Revoir](https://archiveofourown.org/works/125920) by [Vicky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vicky/pseuds/Vicky). 



> This is the long awaited sequel to my fic Vous Revoir. It picks up right where I left it off. The title and the summary are taken from the song Brave New Hope by Basia. Many thanks to my beta, Jaclyn.

_Previously_

The gate closed but John didn't notice it. His eyes were trained on the last person to have walked into the gateroom. Their eyes were locked onto his too, trying to decipher what was in there. They soon smiled, and his own lips couldn't help but return it.

"Elizabeth…"

 

Elizabeth stood in front of the gate and could finally let herself believe that she was going home. To Atlantis. When Richard Woolsey called her, she had first been afraid that something had happened, but as she listened to him, she reasoned that he wouldn't be contacting her if that was the case. She listened closely to what he had to tell her, and even though he gave her a week to think about it, she had an answer for him before he could say another word.

Telling her mother about leaving again wasn't easy, but she had understood that it was what she needed to do. Talking to her brother about it had been even harder since she had to do it over the phone; he had been pretty worried about her health, right up until she said that she was going back to the place she was before, and assured him that John and the others would take care of her. She had hung up on him as he started talking about John, and other things that she certainly wasn't ready to talk about with her brother.

In under a week, she had packed the things she would need on Atlantis, and left for Colorado. Leaving her mother after so many months spent under the same roof had been as tearful as the time she left for college. But just like the other time, she had to do this.

And now, after the medical exam she had to take and pass to be able to go back to Atlantis, she was finally standing there, just a few minutes away from reuniting with her friends. Besides the people in the control room, no one understood what being there meant to her. No one knew that she had already been on Atlantis. No one knew that she had been the one leading the City just a little less than two years ago. It wasn't like she was keeping it a secret from others, it was just that she hadn't been asked, and she didn't volunteer the information.

After what felt like an eternity to her, the gate finally spun to life, chevrons locking one by one with Walter's voice in the background, until it connected with its destination. They weren't using the Midway station this time; there had been some malfunctioning with its gate and repairs were under way. Instead, the SGC was using the ZPM from the outpost to send them to Pegasus.

People walked past her, going through the gate, some of them for the first time. It reminded her of that day the expedition left for Atlantis, full of hope, and neither of them expecting what was awaiting them on the other side. She still remembered that day clearly; it was the day it had all begun. And today was another beginning, a new beginning.

"Doctor Weir?" General Landry's voice came from the control room.

Turning towards him, she noticed that she was the only one left here; they had all gone through the gate already.

"You've changed your mind?" he asked as he saw he had her attention.

"No," she quickly answered. "Sorry, I was just thinking."

"Then, stop thinking for the moment, and walk up that ramp! They're all waiting for you," he concluded, though she knew it wasn't true; nobody, not even her friends knew she was coming back.

"Yes, sir! Thank you," she added before turning and walking towards the gate.

She stopped for a second, took a deep breath and stepped through. She was going home.

 

* * *

 

As she set foot on Atlantis, her eyes immediately sought people she knew. But she stopped as soon as she saw him. He had noticed her too and was now looking at her. Keeping her eyes onto his, she smiled and watched as he returned it. Though she couldn't hear it, she could see his lips forming her name.

Before she could do anything else, he was already jogging down the stairs, to meet her. She couldn't move, couldn't walk towards him. All she could do was watch him as he passed by the new recruits, all of them probably wondering what was happening. Soon enough, he was enveloping her in a tight hug that she returned just as tight.

"You're here, you're back," she heard him whisper against her ear.

"I'm home," she returned on the same tone, tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm home."

She willed the tears away; now was not the place, nor the time to let herself go, it would wait until she was in the privacy of her new quarters. Opening her eyes, she noticed everyone was looking at them, including the general. She slowly pulled away from John, inviting him with a look to turn around.

"Colonel? Care to explain?" the general's voice resounded in the room from where he stood at the top of the stairs.

"Sorry, sir. Let me introduce you to Doctor Elizabeth Weir. She was the first one to lead the expedition, we're here thanks to her," he said, then turned to her. "Elizabeth, this is General Watters."

"I'm sorry, Doctor, I didn't know we were going to have famous people," Watters replied, and Elizabeth could hear the sarcasm in his voice. "The SGC hadn't sent us the list of the new recruits beforehand."

"We just got it, Sir," Chuck said walking towards him with a sheet of paper. "It's good to see you, Doctor," he nodded to her.

"You too, Chuck."

"Well, now that introductions are made, I think you were all attributed quarters back at the SGC, so I suggest you all go there and unpack. Tomorrow will be your first day of work, don't waste time."

Elizabeth and John watched Watters retreat in his office; what once used to be her office. While he was used by now to someone else being in her office, it was the first time for her. It was strange to know that she was back on Atlantis, but that she wouldn't spend hours on end there. She thought she had accepted that, but she found that she hadn't, not really.

"Come on. Show me where your stuff is, and then we're going to your quarters."

 

* * *

 

After they had found her bags in one of the crates, Elizabeth led them towards where her quarters were. They were stopped on their way by people wanting to welcome her back, old members of the expedition happy to see her standing on her own two feet after the incident. Elizabeth was touched by the attention she got.

Soon, she stopped in front of a door, and John smiled at her.

"I should have known…"

"Well, General Landry told me that I could have my old rooms back if I wanted to," she replied, opening the door.

It was even stranger to be back there than it had been to be back on Atlantis. The quarters were completely empty, and she wasn't used to it. She hadn't been the one packing her things; Teyla and Kate had done it while she had still been in the infirmary.

"No one had come to these quarters since you left. No one already here wanted them, and we've actually asked the SGC to not give those quarters to someone else." He paused at the looked she was giving him. "Ok, I've asked and General Landry agreed."

"I know. He told me."

She placed the bag she was carrying on the bed, as John dropped the rest of her bags on the floor. Looking around the room one more time, she walked towards the window, wanting to see the City she had missed. She watched the ocean surrounding it, the towers pointing towards the sky, could imagine people working in the labs, in the different rooms of Atlantis, just like she often saw them do.

John took some time to observe her; she had somehow changed since the last time he had seen her, back at her mother's. Of course, the main change was that the crutches were now gone, and she wasn't even walking with a limp. But what he noticed first and foremost was that she wasn't hiding anymore. Not that she had been able to really hide from him, but he could see that her walls were down, that she was back to the Elizabeth he had learnt to know. The rather depressed Elizabeth who wouldn't show how she really was to anyone but him was gone. The diplomat, strong-minded Elizabeth was back for good, and he guessed that it had something to do with her coming back.

Seized by a need to be sure that she was there, he walked to her, and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. She leaned her back against his chest, as she rested her hands on his. Thoughts left her mind; for the moment she just wanted to feel, not thinking about this or that, it could wait. She was in John's arms, looking at Atlantis, something she had long thought was impossible. But yet, here she was. She shouldn't have forgotten that life was full of surprises.

"I should unpack," she sighed. "And probably go say hi to the rest of your team, and Radek, Lorne…," she trailed off, knowing that if she started naming them all, it would take time.

"You want to leave me for other men?" John asked, making her turn towards him.

"Don't forget Teyla. I know she can kick your ass, but she's a woman, you know."

"I know, believe me, I know," he replied with a sigh, and she gave him a look, before continuing.

"Good. Now, would you help…?"

Before she could even finish her question, his lips had descended on hers. She was surprised at first, but soon her mouth began to move against his. She wanted this, had waited for this, but still when they broke the kiss, she couldn't prevent her mind from taking control back.

"I… We can't do this," she whispered, her lips just inches apart from his. "We can't."

"Elizabeth…," John tried to kiss her again but she took a step back.

"No… Don't…"

She wanted to talk to him, wanted to explain to him why she had reacted this way, but before she could utter another word, he had left her quarters. She sat heavily on the bed, her hand coming to rest on her lips. She couldn't do this, she wanted to, but she just couldn't. She didn't want to lose his friendship; they had grown closer since his last visit on Earth and she didn't want to lose that. He would have to understand the reason why she had rejected him, and she hoped that it wouldn't change things between them.

With a sigh, she got up from the bed. It was time to unpack, to claim back those quarters as her own. But as soon as she opened one of the bags, she saw the jar he had given her as a birthday present. The jar in which she had put her other self's ashes before spreading them over the City. She smiled fondly at the memory of his smile when he had given it to her, the exact same question nagging her mind for which she still didn't have an answer. She still didn't know how he had found out about her birthday.

Letting the memories of those first few months flooding her mind, she turned back to unpacking.

 

* * *

 

An hour later, she was finally done. Taking a look around, she was pleased to say that her quarters felt homey. She couldn't deny that this feeling partly came because she had missed the place, but still, she somehow felt more at home there than in her childhood bedroom at her mom's. Looking at her watch, she noticed that there were still a few hours before dinner, and decided to go take a walk and say hi to old friends. Starting with Rodney; the chief scientist should know by now that she was back, and she was surprised that he hadn't come to see her yet. She was even a little hurt by that. She had thought that he had missed her and that she was more important than any experiment he was working on at the moment.

She knew that he couldn't be off-world since John was there, and coming to think about it, she wondered why Teyla hadn't come either. No one had come actually. No one had bothered to come and say hi, probably expecting to catch her later. Well, she would be the one to go to them, then. In a way, she was the one who had come back; maybe they were expecting her to.

Leaving her quarters, she decided that she would first go to the mess for a cup of Athosian tea. Like she had missed the people here, she had also missed the beverage. It had a way to soothe her that she hadn't found in any other tea that she could buy on Earth. Having a cup of it would feel like stepping foot on Atlantis again, seeing her people; it would mean that she was really home.

But as she opened the mess doors, she knew she wouldn't be able to drink it anytime soon.

Her eyes watered up as she saw her friends, the people she had led for nearly three years standing there, smiling at her. Though they hadn't yelled 'surprise' when she pushed the doors open, and really that would have embarrassed her more than anything, she knew they were all waiting for her.

"Welcome back, Elizabeth," Teyla said, walking towards her. They touched foreheads before Teyla moved to hug her. "It's good to see you."

"It's good to see you too, Teyla. "

Elizabeth smiled at her friend before turning to look towards the others. One by one, Rodney, Lorne, Zelenka, Kate, even Ronon, they all came to talk to her, hug her, making her understand that she was missed. John stood aside, watching the scene unfold before his eyes. It was a moment they had all thought about since she had been forced to leave, and while some had lost hope, John and some others had kept faith that one day she would be back.

Finally, when it was over, and people had left to go back to work, leaving only his team and Elizabeth, he walked towards her.

"I believe you won't be done with all this for a while, yet. Most people were on duty and couldn't come now, but we figured that you would like that anyway."

"I do. But how did you know I was coming here?"

"Well, we sort of knew that you wouldn't resist Athosian tea for much longer."

"Speaking of that, there's a cup with your name on it waiting for you," Rodney said, gesturing for Elizabeth to follow them to the table.

She was about to follow when John's hand on her arm stopped her. She turned towards him, a questioning look on her face. He looked down for a second before facing her again.

"Look, Elizabeth, about what happened earlier…"

"John, I…"

"Let me talk, please." He paused, licking his lips; he was nervous. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I… I want this, but if you're not ready, I understand. I'll wait till you are. Because, believe me or not, you're damn worth the wait, Elizabeth Weir."

She blushed slightly at his words, her eyes locked with his. With just a few words, he had told her everything she needed to hear, and what she felt. He was right, she wasn't ready for this. With time, she might be, but right now, she just needed to settle back in Atlantis, to find her marks again. And despite what he told her, she couldn't help the nagging feeling that she would be just another woman in John Sheppard's life. That, if something were to happen between them, it wouldn't last. But she couldn't voice this feeling, not even to him; she couldn't let him know that to her it would be different. Of course, she could still take whatever he was willing to give her, for how long he was willing to, but she wasn't sure that she could let go after. So she would wait, make him wait, and maybe one day she would be ready for this, or maybe he would get tired of waiting and she wouldn't be worried about being hurt. Whatever came first, she guessed.

But for the moment, she decided to enjoy being back in Atlantis, with her friends.

"So, Elizabeth, you haven't told us what you will be doing?" Rodney asked around a mouthful of cake as she and John joined them.

"I'm sorry, I've completely forgotten to ask too," John said. "I was so surprised to see you there…"

"It's okay, I understand. Richard Woolsey called me one day because the IOA wants to have a negotiating team in Atlantis. Just like what they have at the SGC. And he asked me to lead it, if of course I passed the medical exam."

"Why do they want a negotiating team? We already do this!"

"Yes, Rodney, I know. And this is what I've asked Woolsey as well, and he told me that it was time to change that. There seems to have been quite a few problems in the past few months…," she trailed off, knowing that they were aware of this.

"Yeah," John replied. "Sometimes, people don't really understand the meaning of 'negotiation'. I never thought I would say this, but I'm happy with the IOA's decision if it means having you back."

"As I am," Teyla assured her too. "And I think it was needed. We don't want to lose friends and allies over difficult negotiations, as we almost did last month."

"Tell me more about it. Woolsey has mentioned it to me but without telling me exactly what happened."

"We don't know a lot about it," John started, "but it seems like Lieutenant Fitzgerald had some difficulties making himself understood. I think there was also a problem with the natives, something about the daughter of the chief…"

"And you weren't involved in this?" Elizabeth teased him, though beneath the tease, John could see some worry.

"No, I wasn't, but thanks for thinking I was. You know, I'm not the only trouble magnet in Atlantis."

"Could have fooled us," Ronon muttered loud enough for everyone at the table to hear.

"Ha ha. Anyway, Elizabeth, you should probably read the report."

"I will. Now, let's talk about you, guys. What have you been up to since I've left?"

"Well, you know," John started, "missions, missions and more missions, nothing really exciting besides the times where we met the Wraith."

"You know, Sheppard, I don't think she was asking about that," Rodney said. "Anyway, on my part, I'm still working on a program to shut down the Asurans. Strangely, we haven't encountered them since the time they attacked the City…" He paused; they all remembered that one time, that time where Elizabeth nearly died. Looking at Elizabeth, he felt bad for having mentioned it. "I'm sorry, I…"

"It's ok, Rodney. I'm back, and that's what matters the most. So you were saying?"

"Yeah, I'm still working on the program, because people keep disturbing me with other problems. As if I don't already have enough to do."

"I'm sure you'll finish it one day, Rodney. But, there was really no sign of the Asurans since that time?"

"No," John answered. "Sam had been worried about it, but General Watters doesn't seem to care. He thinks that they're not interested in the City anymore."

"What do you think?" she asked, knowing that he didn't share his commanding officer's opinion.

"That they're waiting for the best moment to attack us. They're plotting something, and whatever it is, we won't be prepared for this because Watters…" He stopped, shaking his head.

"And what about the rest of Pegasus? No one has seen them?"

"Either that, or they haven't told anyone they were Asurans… Anyway, let's talk about something else. You just came back, and we don't want you to get worried about it just now."

"Yeah… So what about you, Teyla?"

"Well, there's not a lot to say… Halling is now the leader of my people, as they thought that I wasn't concerned by their problems anymore. I didn't argue with them, it's true that I spend more time here in Atlantis, than with them. I understand their reaction, but…"

"But you're hurt," Elizabeth finished for her when she failed to find the words.

"Yes. I guess that's what you feel too." After the other woman nodded, she continued. "It's strange how we met as leaders of our people, and now we're not anymore."

"And how are they?"

"They're all fine. Those you've known as children aren't really children anymore. Jinto looks more and more like his late mother, though he's as strong as his father. Some babies were born when you weren't there, and we've lost two of our elders."

"I'm sorry, Teyla…"

"Don't be. They've died of old age. Next time I go to see them, you should come with me. They will be happy to see you as they often ask me about you."

"If I can, I'll come." She would be glad to see them too; the Athosians had been their first friends in this galaxy, and they had shared a lot in the past years. She turned towards the last member of the team, waiting for him to talk. She wouldn't be surprised if he would just shrug and say nothing, but she hoped that he wouldn't.

"Nothing much to say. I'm training those who want to, showing them how to kill a Wraith in a hand-to-hand combat. I could train you too, if you want," he offered.

"Well… No offense, I'd rather have Teyla teach me how to defend myself than you."

"None taken."

"You've never showed an interest in learning that, before," John said, surprised.

"It's because I usually went off-world with a posse, like you used to say. From now on, I'll only have my team, and another one maybe." As she noticed he was ready to protest, she continued. "I'm not the leader of Atlantis anymore, John, I can't be overprotected."

"You weren't overprotected. Like you said, you were the leader, and I needed to make sure that you were in security while off-world."

"Don't you think I know about what you said to Lorne whenever it was his team who accompanied me off-world?"

"How…?" he started, before he realised. "Lorne definitely has a big mouth. I may have to do something about it one day."

"You will not, John. Just like you won't say anything if my team was to go off-world alone."

"Fine," he conceded, knowing that this time, he wouldn't win. He paused for a moment, before a smile took place on his face. "And you didn't ask me what happened to me during those months?"

"It's because you've told me everything already," she reminded him.

"How? When?" Rodney wanted to know.

"We wrote to each other since he came to see me," Elizabeth explained, before John could stop her.

It wasn't that he was embarrassed by that, but he just knew what Rodney would think of it. But, surprisingly, the scientist didn't say anything; he merely looked at them and smiled. It was as if he was approving it, not that he had any say in it, but still. John smiled back as Elizabeth watched the exchange, knowing without asking what was taking place between the two friends.

"I've missed this. Spending time with you, just talking," she explained at their looks.

"We've missed it too, Elizabeth," Teyla replied. "John must have told you that before, but things are different on Atlantis since you've left. I even thought about going back to my people a few times."

"You've never told us that before," John exclaimed, voicing the surprise of the other two men.

"I didn't want to worry you, but I know that General Watters sees me differently because I'm not of your people. The same goes with Ronon too," she added as the Satedan nodded.

"You've thought of leaving too?" Rodney asked.

"Yes. We've talked about it with Teyla, before deciding that we had to stay."

"You should have told me, I would have spoken to Watters."

"There's no use of you to do that. He has to see for himself that we're no different from your people. Like you, Elizabeth, Colonel Carter, and the others did."

"Still, I agree with John," Elizabeth said, "there must be something we can do."

"I believe that time is the only thing that will help," Teyla replied, wisely.

Silence fell upon the table, each of them pondering Teyla's words. Ultimately, they all knew she was right, but that didn't mean Elizabeth, John and Rodney liked the idea of their friends being seen differently than them.

 

* * *

 

Elizabeth ate dinner with her friends, joined by Kate, Lorne, and Zelenka. She had asked more questions to them, enquiring about their allies off-world and life on Atlantis since she left. Things had changed, not drastically, but enough for her to need to find her feet again in the City. That, with her new job, would probably take her a few weeks, but she knew that her friends were there to help her, and she was home. That was what mattered.

She left them just after dinner, refusing their invitation to watch a movie in the rec room. She wanted to review her team's files once more before their first day of work tomorrow. She knew they would do good work together, she had chosen them personally, but still she was anxious. She guessed it was a natural feeling, and if she had shared it with her friends, they would have told her so.

As she was sitting on her bed, reading the last file, the door chimed. Standing up to go open it, she wondered who it could be.

"Mike?" she exclaimed, surprised to see him on the other side.

"Hey. I heard you were back," he said, smiling at her.

"Yeah, finally. You want to come in?" she asked, a bit self-conscious about who could see them talking in the hallway.

"Sure."

She stepped away to let him enter her quarters, and watched as he took in them. She realised that he had never been in them, like most of the members of the expeditions, current or past, but it was something different with him. They had had lunch together and he had kissed her, with her being a willing participant. Having him in her quarters, even more than a year later, could mean something to him.

"So, rumour mill has that you have your own team now," he said, interrupting her thought.

"Yeah. A negotiating team." She paused, before voicing one of her thoughts. "This is awkward."

"Look, Elizabeth, I... I know that it's a bit too soon, that you've just come back, but... Do you want to have dinner with me, tomorrow?"

She closed her eyes and lowered her head. Deep inside her, she knew this question would come. She wondered what it was with men and her, today. First John, and now Mike. She had already rejected John, John who said he would wait for her, could she say yes to another man? To Mike? Did she want to say yes? Being asked on a date was flattering but did she really want that with Mike? She knew she couldn't say him no and give him the same reason as last year. He wouldn't accept it, she wasn't the leader of Atlantis anymore. But she didn't want to say yes to him.

"I… I can't," she whispered, hoping he wouldn't ask for an explanation.

"Ok…," he just said, turning towards the door.

"Please, Mike, let me explain. I owe you that, at least. Please," she begged, as he still had his back to her. When she saw him nodding, she released a breath. "I never had the chance to tell you this before, but I liked our lunch. I liked our kiss," she added, a slight blush creeping onto her cheeks. "But it can't happen again. I don't deny that we spent a good moment together, but that was all it was: a moment."

"Why?" he asked, turning back to face her. "And don't tell me that you don't date people you work with, please. You're not my boss anymore, we're on the same level now."

"It's not that," she said, shaking her head. "It's just… I don't have feelings for you, at least no feelings beyond friendship. I know it sounds cliché, but I'd like us to be friends. But we will never be more than that," she stated again, not wanting to lead him into believing it could evolve into something more.

"To be honest with you, last time, I thought that I could try and change your mind. Now, you've told me clearly that I couldn't. I appreciate that. I guess we could try and be friends," he finished, smiling.

"Good," she replied, offering him a smile of her own.

"Well… It's getting quite late, I'll let you rest. It's good to have you back, Elizabeth. I'm glad that you're fine."

"Thanks."

She walked him to the door, and rested her head against it after he left.

She hadn't expected to confront him tonight. She hadn't expected to confront him at all, actually. She knew that things wouldn't be easy between them at first, but she hadn't lied to him; she wanted them to be friends. But they needed time, him probably more than her, to figure out how to do this.

 

End of Part One


	2. Chapter 2

A cup of coffee in her hand, and her data pad in the other, Elizabeth entered her new office. Looking around, she sighed; it was so different than her previous office. She missed it, missed being able to watch over the control room and gateroom. But she had to remember it wasn't her job anymore, it was General Watters'.

Deciding she would have to make her office homier, she was planning where to put what, when there was a knock on her door.

"Come in," she called, her back to the door.

"Hey, neighbour."

"Hey, yourself," she replied, turning to face John. "Can I help you with something?"

"Actually, no. I just wanted to come and say hi." He paused, licking his lips, before continuing. "You seemed deep in thought when I entered…"

"I had my back on you, and you were able to see that I was deep in thought?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Well, I was, indeed."

"Care to share?"

"I thought that this office could do with a little decoration…"

"I totally approve. When do we start?"

"'We'?" she repeated.

"You can't do that all by yourself. And I know that Ronon, Teyla and Rodney would be happy to help too."

"Really?" While she knew that Teyla would help, she had a hard time trying to imagine Rodney and Ronon volunteering to such a task.

"Well, I'll order them to," he clarified, and she smiled in answer; now that she would believe.

Before she could reply anything, a new knock at the door made them both turned towards it.

"Come in," she called for the second time in a few minutes.

Five people, two women and three men, entered the room, stopping short when they saw she wasn't alone.

"Sorry, Doctor Weir, we didn't want to disturb you."

"It's ok. Colonel Sheppard was just leaving."

"I was?" he replied, facing her.

"You were," she repeated with a pointed look.

"Ok… Well, I'll come and get you for lunch," he said, leaving the room, giving her no time to answer.

"That was Colonel John Sheppard," she said, turning towards her team. "Please, take place, we're going to start."

As she sat behind her desk, she took time to observe her five colleagues.

Tania Peters had been one of her students when she was teaching in Georgetown. She was the first name that came to her mind when Woolsey asked her to choose her team. She was strong-minded, never hesitated to speak her mind, and she was one of her best students. She also had a weird sense of humour, and Elizabeth couldn't wait to watch her interact with Rodney and John.

Scott McCarthy had also been one of her students, from the same year as Tania. Though they were made of the same wood, they butted head many times in her classes. So much that sometimes she thought about banging their heads together. He was more reserved than Tania, but still Elizabeth never doubted that he would make a good negotiator when the time came.

Sheila Polson was a diplomat she had met during her years at the UN. Elizabeth didn't know why, but Sheila had always been kind of hostile towards her. There were rumours that she had been promised the job Elizabeth had gotten. They had barely talked outside of the job, but nevertheless, Sheila had agreed to come work with her when she had called her. She hoped that it would resolve the problems between them.

She had heard of Matthew Pierce through Tania. She had worked with him after having graduated, and had all but pushed Elizabeth to call him too. And after having read his resume, she knew that her former student was right. She read most of the articles about him, and she was pretty sure that he was going to be a precious addition to her team.

The last member of her team was another person she knew very well: her former professor, Doctor James Collins. He was the one she had always called to ask for advice, though he would often tell her to listen to herself, that she knew the answers to her questions. And he had always been right. But she had needed to hear it from him. When she went to find him and offered him this job, she had been afraid that he would turn her down; who would willingly work for a former student? But he had surprised her by saying yes almost immediately, even without knowing what it would be about exactly. Elizabeth had found out later that he was getting sick and tired of teaching students, and wanted to go back to his first job.

All in all, she felt that they could do a good work together, starting with trying to settle the problem Lieutenant Fitzgerald and his team had a month ago.

"I know being here is a lot to take in. Atlantis is a City full of wonder, believe me, I know it. But work is already awaiting us." Before she could continue though, Tania interrupted her.

"Could we get a tour, later, Doctor?" she asked.

"Of course," she nodded with a smile; she knew that question would be coming sooner or later. "Now, let's start."

She sent on their respective data pads a copy of Lieutenant Fitzgerald's team's reports, and let them a few minutes to take in the situation. They were starting quite easy compared to what she had sometimes been confronted to in the Pegasus Galaxy. Her mind conjured the memories of that time she had tried to settle the conflict Rodney and John had started while playing their little 'game'. She still remembered the dressing down she had given them in her office, and how she had wanted to just forget to order Chuck to lower the shield the next time they would come back from a mission; she decided against it after realising the amount of paperwork it would cause.

"So… Who has an idea to solve this?"

"Besides telling the Lieutenant to marry this girl?" Matthew asked, but Elizabeth knew better than to take him seriously.

"We usually resort to that solution when everything else failed," she joked along. "Who else?"

"Well, I don't think these reports are clear enough," Sheila stated, and Elizabeth couldn't help but agree; she also felt that the Lieutenant and his team were hiding something. "Shouldn't we talk to them first?"

"They're off-world right now, but I think we'll be able to see them after their debriefing some time in the afternoon. What else?"

They bounced ideas between them for the rest of the morning. James was less talkative than the others, and Elizabeth was worried that he wasn't feeling at his place in the team. Dismissing them for the lunch break, she asked him to stay behind for a while, needing to talk to him.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes, Elizabeth, I'm fine. Why do you think that's not the case?"

"It's just… You listened more than you talk and…," she stopped, wondering if she should voice her thoughts.

"And…?" he prompted.

"Do you regret saying yes?"

"Oh, Elizabeth… I don't. Believe I don't regret it for one second. It's just that I enjoy seeing you working. I knew you would do great things, but I never thought that would involve living in another galaxy, in Atlantis!"

"I should thank you for that, I guess. You've helped me so many times in the past, that I feel I owe you."

"You don't owe me. You've done everything on your own. I doubt that the President would have given you the job in the first place if he thought that you didn't deserve it."

"No, I guess not. I'm glad you have accepted to come, though."

"This is the opportunity of a lifetime, I know that, and I couldn't pass it up. And it was time." He paused, before adding as an afterthought. "I have to say that I'm surprised that they've agreed to let a man of my age come."

"I hope that you're not saying that you're old, Doctor."

"You have to admit that I'm the oldest one around here. And quit the 'Doctor', Elizabeth," he said, and she looked down; it wasn't the first time he had told her that, but she just couldn't bring herself to call him something else.

"Sorry…"

"Don't be. I should just accept that you will never call me James. Well, now I'm leaving. I'm sure that Colonel of yours will soon come and get you for lunch."

She couldn't help the blush that crept on her face when he used those words.

"Would you like to join us? I'm sure John wouldn't mind, we'll probably join his team, anyway."

"No. I'll leave you with your friends. But I take a rain-check on this. Never doubt yourself, Elizabeth," he told her, before leaving her alone in the room.

She smiled. She remembered those words from a long time ago, when she was still his student, and she was debating whether or not she was making the right choice. Since then, she had heard his voice in her head, telling her the same thing, whenever she was unsure of a decision she was about to take.

"Hey," John's voice came from the threshold. "You're already done?"

"Yes. I thought I wouldn't let them starve on our first day."

"And here I thought I would have to drag you out of there, kicking and screaming," he said, and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"Try that one again, and I'll make sure Ronon finally finds out who Chewie is."

"You're no fun," he pouted.

"Always aiming to please," she replied with a grin.

They took the transporter to the mess hall, and once there, Elizabeth scanned the room to find her friends. She frowned when she noticed that none of them was here.

"Where's your team?" she asked John as she took a salad for herself and put a turkey sandwich on his tray.

"Ronon and Teyla are off-world for the day, and Rodney is working in his lab on… something," he said with a frown, not remembering what the scientist told him. "Why are you asking?"

"Oh, I just thought we would eat with them. Never mind."

"If you're uncomfortable with eating alone with me, we could still join your team," he said, nodding towards where they were sitting.

"No, no it's ok. Here, there's a table in the back."

"No, come on. I'd like to meet your team. You didn't even introduce us this morning."

Before she could say anything else, he was already walking towards them. As she followed him, she tried to think of a reason, any reason, for her to stay as little as possible. It wasn't that she didn't want John to meet her team, but she was sensing the déjà-vu coming. She could feel herself back a few months ago, when he visited her at her mother's; she had no doubt he was going to try and find some more embarrassing stuff about her. She trusted him enough to not tell others about any of that, but she didn't when it came to using it against her.

"Hi again," John said, as he put down his tray beside Tania. "Colonel John Sheppard, I'm a friend of Elizabeth's."

Elizabeth sighed, before setting herself beside James. She'd better do the introductions.

"John, this is Tania Peters, Scott McCarthy, Matthew Pierce, Sheila Polson and James Collins," she said, gesturing to each person as she said their names. "Tania and Scott are actually two of my former students, and Doctor Collins was my professor."

"Well, looks like you might have some interesting stories to tell about Elizabeth as a student or as a teacher," he said, looking at them expectantly.

"John," she warned him.

"Oh come on, Elizabeth. Really, it can't be worse than the story your Mom told me, you know when…"

"John!" she cut him off.

"Gotcha! You really thought I would spill everything after having promised you that I wouldn't. I'm hurt, you know…," he finished, putting his hand over his heart.

"You'll live," she replied, opening her salad. "Colonel Sheppard here is actually the one we'll have to save the most often with our negotiating skills."

"Hey, I resent that! I'm not that bad," he protested. He tried to steal a crouton off of Elizabeth's salad, but as if she had been expecting this, she slapped his hand away with her fork. "Ouch!"

"Take your own salad if you want croutons."

Before he could reply anything, his eyes caught sight of a running child, just before they stopped besides Elizabeth's chair. Looking down, Elizabeth smiled at the sight of the little girl.

"Hey, Maya!"

"Up!" the now four years old girl said, and Elizabeth complied. Once in her arms, Maya kissed her cheek and cuddled in her arms.

"Look at you, you're a big girl now."

"Doctor Weir, it's good to see you back," Cari, Maya's mother, said as she joined them at the table.

"It's nice to see you Cari, and Maya too. I'm surprised she remembered me."

"Well, you were like her favourite person in the Galaxy," John reminded her.

"Still, she's so young…"

"She was asking about you a lot," Cari told her. "We've come here for a mere check-up after she was sick last week, and Doctor Keller happened to mention that you were back. Maya could barely contain her excitement at being able to see you again."

"I'm happy to see her again, and you too. Would you like to join us for lunch?"

"Thanks for your offer, but we've already eaten. We'll leave you alone. Come on, Maya, we need to go."

"No, no, no," the girl shook her head, clinging to Elizabeth.

"Maya…"

"No."

"Let me tell you something, Maya," Elizabeth said, knowing that she should intervene. "I promise that I'm going to come and see you in five days and we'll play together. Ok?"

Maya seemed to consider this option for a few seconds, before she nodded, albeit reluctantly.

"I'll let my people know. They'll all be happy to see you. You're of course all welcome to come," Cari added, looking at the other people of the table.

"Oh! I'm sorry," Elizabeth said, realising that she had forgotten to introduce her team to the two Athosians. "This is my new team: Tania Peters, Scott McCarthy, Matthew Pierce, Sheila Polson and James Collins. I'll make sure they come with me."

"Colonel, could you pass the message along to Teyla?" Cari asked, as Maya, who was now in her arms, asked John for a kiss.

"I will. It won't be too difficult to convince my team to come."

"Good. I'll see you all in five days."

As she walked away from the table, Maya waved them goodbye from over her shoulder. Elizabeth waved back with a smile.

"Are you sure we won't intrude?" Sheila asked, voicing the rest of the team's concern. "We don't know them, and…"

"Don't worry," John reassured her. "The Athosians are a very welcoming people. They're the first people we encountered in this galaxy, and believe me, they really like to meet new people."

"If you're sure…"

"We are," Elizabeth replied. "She wouldn't have extended the invitation to you if she didn't mean it. I guess that unless there's a mission in between, going to their settlement will be your first time off-world."

"You have nothing planned for this week?"

"No. We were asked to work on Lieutenant Fitzgerald's team's situation, and review some of the treaties that have been brokered or renewed these last few months, but otherwise we're free." She paused, before a question came to her mind. "Speaking of the lieutenant's team, you really don't know more than what you've told me yesterday?"

"No. They haven't talked about that with me. Why?"

"We just feel that something was off, like they left something out in the report."

"Something embarrassing?"

"I hope it's just that, but I have a feeling it's more important."

"Want me to talk to them?"

"I'd rather talk to them alone. Whatever was left out, they didn't want you, or General Watters to know about it. And if it's no vital information, I guess I can keep it to myself."

"They trust you, that could work."

They shared a smile, and left Elizabeth's team wondering what kind of leader she was.

"So, Colonel, why don't you tell us more about this Galaxy? I'm sure you must have seen quite a lot of things by now."

Sheila said that with a smile on her lips, a smile that Elizabeth didn't really like. She didn't know why, but she was pretty sure that she seemed interested in John, even though she just met him. She couldn't stop the jealousy that was rising in her, jealousy that she had no right to feel, as she had no claim on John. She told him she wanted to wait, and though he had told her he would, she didn't care if he decided to date someone else. Or did she? She wondered why she couldn't make her mind up once and for all. She was angry at herself for being like this.

John might have noticed what Sheila was trying to do also, as he answered her with nothing more than a polite smile on his face.

"There are a lot of things to see in Pegasus, that's for sure. But it would be no fun if you knew beforehand, you know. Ask Elizabeth, or anyone else who was there when we first came here. You wouldn't frighten the giant spiders that can cross your path in Atlantis with your screams if I told you about it."

"Giant spiders? Cool," Tania replied, grinning.

"Giant spiders, John?" Elizabeth said, a teasing smile on her lips. "You didn't mean the bug…"

"We agreed to never mention that again," John cut her off with a pointed look.

"We did?" she feigned to have forgotten. "Any news about Ford?" she changed subject completely, hoping that they would finally have something.

"No. We're still keeping an eye out despite the orders, but no luck so far."

"We'll find him, or he'll find us. He's still out there, I can't believe he was still in the Hive…" She couldn't bring herself to voice what happened, but he knew. She closed her eyes at the thought, and felt his hand cover hers on the table.

"We'll find him," he repeated her words when she opened her eyes, and she could see his determination in them. He wasn't one to let go, to let one of his people behind, and they both knew it.

The others felt like intruders as they heard him talk about someone they didn't know. They wanted to ask, but at the same time, they felt it wasn't their place to. Maybe one day they would know what this was about, but that day wasn't today.

They finished their lunch with John sharing some stories about the Athosians, or the other allies they had out there. He left out the Genii, though, and Elizabeth wondered why, and said so.

"The general didn't think it was a good idea to have an alliance with them. Said that it could backfire one day…"

"And you didn't disagree," she finished for him, not hiding the reproach in her voice.

"Look, Elizabeth…"

"No. I know you don't trust them, but they've helped us. If Cowen was still the one in charge, or worse, if Kolya was still alive," she paused, the memories of what he had done to John still fresh though it happened nearly two years ago. Shaking those thoughts away, she continued. "I would understand it. But they're both dead. Ladon had helped many times, and I trust him, and I will say so to General Watters. If I have to take the matter to the IOA, I will, but we will re-establish the alliance with the Genii."

"Can I talk now?" He waited to see if she had anything else to say, and he went on when she gestured for him to. "I didn't disagree, that's true. But, I also told him all that. You've taught me well, Elizabeth, I know when an alliance is important. And I fought for it, but he didn't listen to me. Now, if you want to go and convince him that he was wrong, I'll be right behind you."

She could see it in his eyes that he would. She nodded slowly, lowering her head at the same time. She should have trusted him, should have let him talk, but she was so angry at the fact they rescinded the alliance that she spoke without thinking.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You had every right to think that I agreed with the general. I never really showed any kind of trust to the Genii after the storm, but after all, Ladon thanked me when we told him that I killed Kolya."

"In that Western parody, you should add," she went back to teasing.

"Hey! It's not my fault if it is the way it happened."

"I never thought I would see the day when Elizabeth wouldn't react badly to people killing other people," James intervened.

He was quite surprised. In his classes, she had always been vehement that there was another way than the military one, but now, she seemed to have changed. But she changed; he guessed that tended to happen when you led an expedition to another galaxy. He had never imagined she would lose her ideals, though, and she seemed to have done just that.

"You don't know Kolya, Doctor," she started to explain. "He did horrible things in the years we've known him. Killing him was the only way."

"And I should have done it before," John added, his eyes cold.

This time, it was her who grasped his hand. They both knew he had the opportunity before, but decided to let him live. John wasn't a killer, and if he could avoid it, he wouldn't pull the trigger. He hadn't been the only one making a choice either; she had made the choice to not negotiate with Kolya, and instead watched a Wraith slowly killing John.

Giving his hand a squeeze, she saw his eyes softening in understanding. They smiled at each other, before she let go.

"Are you eating that?" he asked in a hopeful voice, gesturing to her piece of cake.

"Yes, I am," she answered, in a voice that told him that he better not try something. She decided to tease him a bit. "Why are you asking? Do you think I shouldn't?"

"Do you want us to help you find a diplomatic answer, Colonel?" Scott asked.

"Is there even one?" he replied, and when they all shook their heads no, he decided that he should just say something and hope that she wouldn't behead him, or worse, tell Ronon what he said. "It's not like that, Elizabeth. What I wanted to say was… I… You're perfect as you are," he finished, and she could see in his eyes that he was thinking it.

"Thank you. You want some?" she offered, pushing the plate further towards him.

He smiled, using his fork to take a chunk of the chocolate cake. She said nothing, knowing that he would leave her more than her share.

 

* * *

 

After lunch, Elizabeth decided to go see Lieutenant Fitzgerald alone, hoping that he would share what he had left out of the report with her. She found him in the gym, training with the rest of his team.

"Ma'am," they acknowledged her as soon as she entered. "Can we help you with something?"

"Actually yes." She paused, taking her time to look at each of them. "I wanted to talk to you, all of you, about the incident."

She didn't need to be more specific; from the look on their faces, they understood what she meant. They looked at each other, before the Lieutenant spoke.

"With all due respect, Ma'am, we don't know what you mean."

Classic. Elizabeth couldn't say that she was surprised. They were military; they were trained not to spill secrets after the first question. Well, that, or she was completely mistaken and there was nothing wrong with the reports.

"Lieutenant, gentlemen. I think we all know why I'm here. I've been asked by the IOA to deal with the consequences with my team, and I don't think I can do that if I don't know everything that has happened."

"Everything's in the report, Ma'am. If you want a copy..."

"I have a copy," she cut Fitzgerald off. "What I want to know is what you left out of your reports. What was the real reason behind the incident?" She paused, before continuing. "I'm not military, and if it's not something that can threaten the City, no one but me and my team will know about it. You have my word, and I think we know each other well enough to know that you can trust me."

She waited as they decided in silence if they could indeed trust her. At least, she wasn't wrong and something was off, something that seemed important enough to have started the incident but not of vital information.

"There was something else, you're right. But it has nothing to do with any of us, not directly at least. We were walking through the village with their Chief, when Sergeant Lopez noticed that some women were entering a house with their child, only to leave a few minutes later alone. And in tears. We asked the Chief what was happening, and he told us that the kids were going to be sacrificed." He paused, knowing that Elizabeth would need a minute or two to take in the information. "They thought it was the best way for them to prevent the Wraith from culling them. We tried telling them that we could help them, that we were fighting the Wraith, and that there was no need to do human sacrifices, but they weren't listening."

"What did you do, then?" Elizabeth asked, although she could already see where this was going.

"We left the village, telling them that the alliance was rescinded, only to come back a few minutes later. We went to the house, and took the kids with us. There were six kids, in tears. We couldn't leave them behind, Ma'am."

"I understand. Then what? You haven't brought the kids back here."

"No. We went to see another people we are allied with, and asked them to take care of the children. They agreed without asking any questions." He paused, lowering his head, before looking back to Elizabeth. "We can't negotiate with these people, Ma'am. I don't care if the General or people on Earth think that it is needed, they haven't seen those kids. They were so small, they were crying for their mothers the whole time, but we couldn't take them back."

"And by now, they probably suspect that you have something to do with that. Though I don't think they would contact Atlantis to demand an explanation; they would have too much explaining to do themselves."

"Will you tell the General?" Lopez voiced what they were all thinking.

"No," she reassured them.

She didn't know yet what she would tell the general, but there was no way she would negotiate with this people. She would use her best negotiating skills, and when she was done with him, he would follow her advice. But she wasn't sure she would be able to do this alone. She didn't know this General, and while it wouldn't bother her at any other time, this time however, she needed to know what to tell him. And she knew exactly who she should ask.

"But I'll tell Colonel Sheppard."

"Ma'am..."

"Don't worry Lieutenant, he'll agree with me. Knowing him, he would have probably done the same. I just need his help to convince the general," she explained.

After a few more reassuring words to the team, Elizabeth left them and went back to work. She would first explain the situation to her team, and would talk to John later.

 

* * *

 

Weeks had passed since Elizabeth talked to General Watters. With John's help, they had managed to convince him that reopening talks with a people that couldn't help them besides giving them part of their crops wasn't worth it. With any other people, she would have fought for the contrary; even if this people couldn't help them, they could still protect them from attacks from the Wraith. She had never thought she would talk someone into doing exactly the contrary of what she thought they should do, but this time, there was no other choice.

"Elizabeth?" James' voice jolted her from her thoughts. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, sorry. I've kind of spaced out there. Where were we?"

"We were talking about going presenting the Caris with the treaty," Tania answered.

"It is the best we can come with right now," Sheila continued. "We've left enough room for them to add things if they want."

"Ok, then. I'll go ask General Watters if we can go some time in the next few days. Anything else on the Caris?"

"Not that we know of," Scott replied. "Colonel Sheppard's team's reports are pretty detailed, and nothing seemed off to them."

Elizabeth nodded. She had asked them herself if there was something else she should know about this people, something they had written in their reports, but they assured her that everything was ok.

"Is there anything else one of you wants to add?"

"It's not about the treaty itself, but about our trip through the Gate," Matthew started, and Elizabeth gestured for him to continue. "Is there going to be another team with us?"

"I don't know yet. But I think so. Something else on your mind?"

"No, that would be all."

"Anyone else?" She waited for someone else to talk, and when no one did, she got up. "I'm going to talk to the General now. You have the rest of the day off."

"So what do we do now?" Scott asked, after Elizabeth left the room.

"Well, I don't know for you, Scottie..."

"Don't call me, Scottie," he interrupted Tania, though he knew it was to no avail; she had taken to calling him that whenever she wanted to annoy him.

"Whatever," she replied with a smile. "Anyway, as I said, I don't know about you, but I'm going to the gym."

"You? Doing sports? It's going to snow tomorrow!"

"Ha ha, very funny. I never said that I'm going to do sports."

"So why are you going to the gym?" Matthew asked.

"Have you seen the guys there?" she simply answered, before walking towards the door.

"Hey, wait for me," Sheila said, joining her.

As they were leaving, the men looked at each other, rolling their eyes.

"So, what do we do?"

"Well, Scott, I think it's time Matthew and I teach you some things about women," James said, draping an arm around the younger man.

"Why?" Scott replied, oblivious of the silent conversation the other two men were having.

"Let's go have a cup of coffee, we'll explain everything to you," Matthew said.

Scott followed them out of the room, and towards the nearest transporter, all the while wondering what they meant.

Once in the mess hall, they each grabbed a cup of coffee, and went to sit at a table just beside the windows. They didn't speak for a few minutes, just sipping on their coffee, and looking at the City. They still had a hard time believing that they were in the Lost City of Atlantis, the same one they heard of in a myth for years. Except that it wasn't only a myth.

"So, time for the lesson," James finally said, turning to look towards Scott.

"I still don't understand why I would need a lesson..."

"See, Scott, when you want a woman to know that you're interested in her, you can't go all alpha male on her, and start to be jealous."

"What do...," he paused, finally understanding what they were both thinking. "Wait! You think... Tania... You two are crazy," he concluded, shaking his head at the two men.

"I don't think we are, Scott," Matthew started. "Maybe you don't want to admit it to yourself, or maybe they're right and you can be blinded by love."

"Love? Who said anything about love? I don't love Tania. I mean, she's nice, and all, but I don't think about her that way."

"If you say so," James put a stop to the conversation, knowing it wouldn't help them, and that he would at least think about it now. It was time to steer the conversation towards the other person at the table. "What about you, Matthew? Any woman you set your eyes on?"

"Not yet. Though there are some beautiful ones, I have to admit." Though Matthew knew what the older man was trying to do, it didn't mean that he couldn't have some fun too. "And you, James?"

"Well, you know, I'm an old man. I don't think any of these young girls would be interested in someone like me."

"Don't think that, Doctor," Scott cut in. "I heard that there are some women who fall for older men, something about their charisma, I think."

"Well, good for other old men, but I'm not like that. Some of these women are about my daughter's age, so thanks but no thanks."

"You have a daughter?" Matthew asked, not having him heard talk about her before.

"She's 28, and doesn't really understand why her father felt the need to embark on a new adventure at his age. Not that she knows anything about Atlantis and what we're doing here, but you know..." He paused, remembering the conversation he had with his daughter when he told her that he was leaving the country for a new job; if she knew that he was actually leaving the planet, hell the galaxy. She was strong-minded, just like him, and had stood her opinion, though she hadn't been angry at him. Though not understanding, she had respected his choice. "I guess she didn't want to see me go away. She has always been closer to me than to her mother, and had stayed with me after the divorce."

"She followed your path?"

"No, Scott, she turned to the dark side and became a lawyer," he said, chuckling; he had always loved telling her that and watching her fume. "Anyway, forget about her, guys, she's off-limits, understood?" he said in his best teacher's voice.

"Yes, sir," they both agreed.

James nodded, and turned back to his coffee, soon joined by the others. A comfortable silence fell again on their table, only broken when Elizabeth came to join them.

"So, when are we going, Elizabeth?" James was the one to ask; it would be their first real off-world negotiation, and he was already feeling the same anticipation he felt just before his first negotiation years before.

"The day after tomorrow. Major Lorne's team will come with us this time. I've asked for Colonel Sheppard's team since they made first contact," she explained, knowing that the question would arise, "but his team is leaving tomorrow morning for a three day mission, and apparently they can't delay it."

"And I recommended that Lorne's team accompany you," John's voice came from behind her. "Remember, he's your personal bodyguard."

"And you're the errand boy," she joked along.

"Yes, well, I thought that we could forget this one, at least for once." He paused, then remembered to ask something he had on his mind. "By the way, what about Radim and the Genii?"

"I want to think everything through before going to confront the general about this one. I only have one chance at it, and if I don't convince him, then this alliance will be forever gone."

"Or at least until we get ourselves a new commander...," John thought out loud.

"Why? Does General Watters want to leave?" She would be surprised if that was the case, but she could be mistaken.

"No, but I thought that maybe, one day, soon, they'll give you back your job."

"I don't think that will ever happen, John. They wanted me out before the accident. They never said so, but I could recognize the signs."

"You never know. Woolsey and the IOA chose to make you come back, that's a big step."

"And I'm glad for that, but I won't keep my hopes up for something that is likely to never happen."

They both knew that it was exactly what she said about her coming back to Atlantis, and though she had been mistaken the last time, she didn't think that was the case this time.

"So, you're all ready for your first real trip to another planet?" John asked, turning towards the other men around the table.

"As ready as we can be, I guess," James was the one to answer. "Anything we should know?"

"No. Where would be the fun if I told you what to expect?" John replied with a smile.

 

* * *

 

As it turned out, the team wasn't surprised when they stepped through the Gate on the Caris' planet. If anything, they might have thought for a second that they were back on Earth, as the landscape looked like what they could find in some places back on their homeworld. The High Chancellor of the Caris, Nilam, was waiting for them along with other members of the Council, and some guards.

Wanting to show them that she was the one they would be negotiating with, Elizabeth walked together, while the rest of her team and Lorne's team followed two steps behind. Though she couldn't see them, she knew that Lorne and his men were on their guards; they had been deceived enough times to know that they shouldn't let their guards down at any time.

"High Chancelor, I'm Doctor Elizabeth Weir, head of the negotiating team of our expedition. Let me introduce you to my team, James Collins, Sheila Polson, Matthew Pierce, Tania Peters and Scott McCarthy. And here's Major Lorne and his team."

"This is an honor, Doctor Weir. I'm High Chancelor Nilam, and this is the main members of the Council," he said, gesturing to the people waiting behind, without really introducing them; Elizabeth guessed it would be for later. "I thought we would see Colonel Sheppard's team."

"They would have liked to come, but they were already on another mission. They send their greetings and hope to be able to come next time."

"Shall we proceed with the negotiations?" Nilam asked, and Elizabeth nodded.

Extending an arm, he gestured for them to follow him, and waited for Elizabeth to walk beside him. Without turning around, Elizabeth knew that Lorne was right behind her, while the rest of his team was probably waiting for hers.

Elizabeth listened to Nilam talk about his world, his people, as they walked towards the village. She listened more closely when he talked about the alliances they already made with people from other worlds, and one in particular: the Genii. Maybe she could use the example of the Caris to show General Watters that the Genii could be trusted. But she didn't want to talk about their past alliance with Ladon's people to the Caris just now; it could make them think that her people could decide to rescind an alliance with them whenever they want to.

When they arrived at the village, people stopped to look at them, and some children would come and walk with them. A little girl, who couldn't have been more than five, took Lorne's hand, and Elizabeth couldn't help but smile at the sight.

"Found yourself a fiancée?" she joked, and he could hear his team snicker behind him.

"It looks like it," he joked along, smiling at the girl, who beamed up at him. "And what's your name, pretty girl?"

"Her name's Myee," Nilam answered when she proved to be too shy to answer herself. "There we are," he said, gesturing to the tall building before them.

Nilam preceded Elizabeth inside, her team followed, and Lorne bent down and kiss Myee's cheek before following her with his own team. The High Chancellor and the members of the Council, along with Elizabeth and her team, took place around the table, while the guards and Lorne's team stood on each side of the door.

Lorne listened as the talks started, Elizabeth and her team presenting the Caris with the treaty they had prepared. Everything seemed to go smoothly, and from what John had told him, the Caris were a peaceful people, but Evan also knew that sometimes, appearances could be deceiving.

 

* * *

 

Two hours later, Evan noticed that both sides were ready for a break, and he was soon left alone with Elizabeth and Nilam, while he ordered the rest of his team to go with Elizabeth's.

"You know you can go take a walk if you like," Elizabeth told him with a smile.

"I've promised Colonel Sheppard to not let you out of my sight."

"And Colonel Sheppard will soon have to learn that all this isn't necessary anymore."

"Yes, Ma'am," he replied, though looking unconvinced.

"I can understand why people want to protect you," Nilam said. "You have great negotiating skills, and I believe that they think that makes you an important person."

"Not really. I was their leader, once," Elizabeth explained. "After an accident, I was injured, and removed from my position. I only came back recently as a member of the expedition.".

"But some people still see you as their leader," Nilam finished for her.

She smiled in answer. She knew it would have to change soon, but as long as John would still want to protect her, and would ensure her safety to others when he couldn't do it himself, it couldn't happen.

She opened her mouth to change the conversation, but before she could utter a single word, Captain Hawkins' voice could be heard in Lorne's radio.

"Sir, some villagers told us that a faction of rogue Genii just came through the Gate, and is walking towards the village."

Elizabeth and Evan shared a look, before he replied.

"Get the teams through the Gate. I'm with Doctor Weir, and we'll come as soon as possible."

"Sir..."

"Don't wait for us, that's an order," he said, turning towards Elizabeth. "We have to go, Ma'am."

"We have to help them, first," she replied, not ready to leave the Caris in the Genii's hands.

"Ma'am, even with Kolya dead, you know that they'll want you. I can't risk your safety."

"You know the Genii?" Nilam said, surprised.

"It's a long story, but yes. I'm sorry for not having told you that before."

"I guess you should know that we were warned by the Genii that there was a rogue faction out there, and that if they do come to our planet, we have to contact them. And the other members of the council must have done that by now."

"Then, the best is to wait."

"Ma'am..."

"They're probably guarding the Gate, and I doubt that our teams will be able to go home." She paused, long enough for Evan to realise that she was probably right. "We're waiting."

"Is there a room where we could be any safer?" Lorne asked, deciding to concentrate on protecting both Elizabeth and Nilam for the time being.

"Of course. Follow me."

Understanding the urgency of the situation, Nilam led them down a set of stairs, and into what looked like a basement. Evan was a bit wary of the fact that there was only one entrance to the room, and that there was no other way for them to get out of there if need arise. There were crates scattered around the room, and with the help of the other man, he arranged them so that they could hide behind them.

"Why would rogue Genii want you?" Nilam asked Elizabeth, as he sat on the floor beside her.

"Like I've said, it's a long story, but I guess we have time now. I believe you are aware that the Genii aren't peaceful farmers." Nilam nodded and she continued. "Well, when we first met them, they introduced themselves as just that. Except that Colonel Sheppard and his team found out that it was only a facade. We immediately severed our relations with them, but then, a few weeks later, there was a massive storm on our planet, and we had to evacuate. There was only me, Colonel Sheppard, his team, and Doctor Beckett," her voice faltered a bit thinking of the loss of Carson and Aiden, "and two marines left when Kolya and some other Genii came to take the City from us."

"The City of the Ancestors? Colonel Sheppard told us that you used to live there, but that you lost it."

"Yes," she lied; she hated doing that, but even a few years later, they couldn't let everyone know that Atlantis was still standing. "We fought, well mostly Colonel Sheppard did," she had to admit, "and we finally forced them to retreat back to their planet with a trick. Let's just say that Kolya wasn't happy with me or Colonel Sheppard."

"I've never heard of this Kolya..."

"And that's for the better. He's the most cold-hearted person that I've ever met." She closed her eyes, thinking about what he had done to John, and when she opened them back again, and noticed his worried look, she reassured him with a smile. "But that's all in the past. Kolya's dead, and until a few months ago, we had an alliance with the Genii. That is until our new leader decided that this alliance could backfire one day. But I'm planning on convincing him to renew the alliance."

"Even though I know you for only a few hours, I don't doubt that you'll succeed. You're a tough negotiator Doctor Weir."

"Please, it's Elizabeth."

"And it's Nilam," he returned with a smile. "I hope my children are in safety," he mused out loud, and Elizabeth put a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sure they're fine."

"Sir?" Hawkins' voice said through the radio.

"Did you make it to the Gate?"

"Yes, sir. It was guarded by four rogue Genii, but Ladon Radim and his men came through the Gate and took care of them. They're on their way to the village. We'll be there in..."

"Negative. You go through the Gate, now. We'll be waiting for the Genii to take care of the rogue faction, and then we'll come back. You have your orders, follow them."

Hawkins acquiesced and severed the communication.

Lorne turned towards Elizabeth and nodded at her, just as sounds of gunfire erupted just outside the building.

"They're close, and I doubt that Radim will be there before at least another ten minutes."

"What are you suggesting?"

"We can't do anything, ma'am. Not without putting you or High Chancellor Nilam in danger. The better is to wait here," he concluded; he didn't really like this idea, but like he told them, they didn't have much of a choice. Something was still nagging him, though.

"What's on your mind, Evan?" Elizabeth asked, reading him as an open book.

"Don't you find it strange that they come the day you are here?"

"Do you think someone contacted the rogue Genii?" she replied, surprised.

"I don't know, Ma'am. I just find it difficult to think it's just a coincidence. No offense, sir," he said, turning towards Nilam, who was looking at him, as surprised as Elizabeth.

"It's alright. I have to say that you may be right."

"What makes you say that, Nilam?" Elizabeth asked.

"There's a group who is opposed to the High Council. Up until now, they've just voiced their opinion, but I wouldn't be that surprised to learn that they have something to do with it. Some of these people often travel to other worlds to trade."

"They could have made friends with the rogue Genii during one of those trips," Lorne finished for him. He had to say that it seemed quite possible. "As soon as this is sorted out, you'll have to do something about these people, sir."

"I know. I've told the rest of the High Council as much many times, but they always said that they were not a threat. I believe that after today, they will think differently."

Elizabeth was about to say something else, when Evan held a hand up to silence her. Gesturing for her and Nilam to not move, he took position behind a crate, his P-90 at the ready. Sure enough, seconds later, the door burst open, four people entering. They immediately spotted Lorne, and fired at him, forcing him to take cover.

Nilam scooted closer to Elizabeth, ready to protect her if the need arose, having understood that whatever they wanted her for, it wasn't a good thing.

After a minute or so, Evan finally returned the fire, but he knew it was useless; he was alone, while there were four of them. Still, he had promised to protect Elizabeth, and he would do just that, even if he had to give his life for that. But as he was losing hope of the three of them ever going out of there unharmed, gunfire erupted from the stairs, and the rogue Genii fell on the ground, dead. Prepared to fire again if it was needed, Evan watched the door and sighed in relief when he saw Ladon and five of his men entering the room.

"You ok, there?" Ladon asked, coming closer to the crates.

"Yeah," Evan answered, standing up, followed closely by Elizabeth and Nilam.

"Good. Major, High Chancellor," he nodded to each man before turning towards Elizabeth. "Doctor Weir, it's a pleasure as always."

"I wouldn't have said that after our first meeting," she reminded him, and he had to admit he could understand her, "but right now, it is."

"I'm going to take you and Major Lorne back to the Gate. We think there are still some rogue Genii that we haven't got to yet, around."

"You need to find whoever contacted them from here."

"You don't think it's a coincidence, Major?" As the other man shook his head, he nodded. "I don't think so, either. When your team told me that Doctor Weir was there, I could only reach one conclusion. I believe that High Chancellor Nilam is as adamant as I to find the traitor."

"Yes. And as much as I want our two people to conclude the treaty, I suggest you to not come back until we can assure your safety."

"Then, I hope this problem will be solved soon, so that we can resume our talks." She said her goodbyes to Nilam before turning back towards Ladon. "Let's go."

Elizabeth and Lorne followed Ladon out of the basement, and the building. They stopped for a minute, Ladon giving instructions to his men, and once more after Elizabeth noticed a young boy on the ground, obviously dead. Her breath caught in her throat as she knelt beside the small body, and brush a lock of hair out of his face. She guessed that he couldn't have been more than four. They were outside the village, which was probably why they were the first ones to have found him. Quite a few people had been hurt, and no one had ventured out of the village yet.

"We need to leave, Doctor Weir," Ladon said in a soft voice, not wanting to anger her.

"We can't leave him here. Alone."

"We can't do anything for him," Lorne said, understanding how she must be feeling, but also knowing that her safety had to come first. "We have to hurry and go back home. I'm sure they're worried about us, by now." He put a hand on her elbow, forcing her to stand, and to face him. "They're going to find him, and take care of him," he said in a reassuring tone.

"Ok. Let's go."

They resumed walking towards the Gate, and Lorne could see that since they had found the little body, Elizabeth had closed down. She wasn't used to seeing corpses, especially not one of a young child. Knowing her, she wouldn't probably talk about this with anyone, and he made a mental note to inform John of what happened.

As soon as they arrived at the Gate, Lorne dialled Atlantis, and sent his IDC. Elizabeth turned towards Ladon, intending to thank him for his help, but before she could say a word, she watched as he fell, hit by a weapon. She caught him in her arms, Lorne immediately at her side, started shooting in the approximate direction of where the gunfire erupted. He helped Elizabeth drag Ladon back towards the Gate at the same time, knowing that she wouldn't want to leave him there, in the mercy of their enemies.

End of Part Two


	3. Chapter 3

"We need a medical team!" Elizabeth shouted as soon as they set foot on Atlantis.

She and Evan laid Ladon on the floor, and she kept pressure on his wound, willing for the flow of blood to stop.

"What happened?" General Watters asked as he joined them. "And who is he?"

"Ladon Radim, leader of the Genii," Lorne replied. "He came to help us with some of his men and got hit when we were about to leave. We couldn't leave him there in the rogue Genii's hands.

"That reminds me," Elizabeth started, but before any of the men could ask, she was already looking up towards the control room. "Chuck, you need to contact the Genii to let them know that Radim is here, and wounded."

"Doctor Weir, do I have to remind you that you're not the one ordering people around anymore?"

"Sorry, sir, but this has to be done," she said, as the medical team finally arrived. "The rogue Genii know that they've hurt him, and they might try and take control. And we can't let that happen."

Elizabeth watched as Watters thought about what she had just said. She hoped that she had managed to convince him, because she could already see the bloodbath happening on the Genii homeworld if they believed their leader to be dead.

"Do it," General Watters ordered Chuck after what seemed like an eternity for her, but what was actually just a minute.

"Thank you, sir. And if they don't believe you, tell them that I wouldn't lie to them, Chuck."

"Yes, Doctor."

"Ok, we're bringing him to the OR, now," Jennifer's voice raised in the Gateroom to make herself heard by her team. "Major Lorne, Doctor Weir, I expect you to go to the infirmary, right away."

They both nodded in answer and followed the medical team out of the Gateroom. They listened as Jennifer contacted the infirmary by radio to let them know of the situation. Elizabeth waited until she was done to ask her the question that should have come first.

"What about our teams?"

"They're all fine. Your team is definitely a bit shaken up, and I think that group and individual sessions with Kate are in order. And I'd talk to Tania and Scott if I were you, they're going to need some reassurance."

"Is he going to be ok?" she asked as they were entering the infirmary.

"I'm going to do everything to ensure that."

Elizabeth and Evan watched them disappear on one side of the infirmary before a nurse steered them to the other side, where both of their teams, and John's team were waiting.

"Elizabeth," John said, and she could hear the fear in his voice. "Are you hurt?" he asked, spotting the blood on her hands and clothes.

"It's Ladon's. I'm fine. We're both fine."

Without saying another word, John hugged her tightly to him, and her arms wrapped themselves around his waist while she buried her face in his chest, breathing in his scent. She heard John whispering words of comfort to her, and she allowed herself to rest against him for longer than was necessary.

They reluctantly broke contact when the nurse told her that she needed to do her post-mission check-up. It was done quickly, as she hadn't been hurt, and hadn't even had a bruise, and she went back to where her friends were waiting.

"I presume there is no news."

John shook his head no, and Elizabeth turned towards her team, and immediately spotted Tania and Scott standing next to a bed, their arms crossed over their chests, their heads hanging low. Elizabeth couldn't help the smile that stretched her lips at the sight; despite what they thought, they were just the same. Walking over to them, she stood right between them, and put her arms around their shoulders. They leaned slightly into her, and for just a second, she regretted having offered them the job. They were both still young, and they weren't ready to see things like what happened today. She was going to be even more careful of them, if only for her own sanity; she didn't want them to lose that hope in words, in talks, that she had seemed to have lost after the many horrors of the Pegasus Galaxy she had been the witness of.

Turning towards the rest of her team, she looked at each of them. Jennifer had been right; they were all shaken up by what happened on Caris.

"Doctor Keller wants us all to go and see Kate Heightmeyer, our resident psychiatrist, and I think that's a good idea. I'll see if she can have us tomorrow for a group session."

She met James' eyes who told her that she had made the right decision.

"Ma'am? General Watters wants us to debrief as soon as we're done here."

"Ok. You're going to stay here?" she asked John and his team, and they all nodded in answer. "Keep me posted."

"I'll see you for tea," Teyla said, more than asked, knowing that the other woman needed some relaxing time.

"Of course. Let's go."

 

* * *

 

The debriefing had been long, and right in the middle of it, Jennifer had contacted the General to let him know that Ladon was going to be ok. Elizabeth had breathed a sigh of relief, and now more than ever, she was resolute to talk Watters into reforming the alliance with the Genii.

"I'm glad you're going to see Kate, tomorrow," Teyla said, as she sipped on her Athosian tea.

"They need it."

"And you need it too, Elizabeth. I know you, I know that you never went to talk to Kate before, unless you were forced to. I'm glad that you're going willingly this time."

"I have to make sure that they're alright. Especially Tania and Scott."

"It'll help you, too. If you want to talk, Elizabeth, you know I'm here."

"I know, Teyla," she said, reassuring the other woman with a smile. "Don't worry, I'm fine. So, what are the latest rumours?"

"Well..." Teyla thought for moment, wondering if she should tell her friend who the latest rumours were about.

"Ok. They're about me and John, right?" Elizabeth understood. "I should have guessed that after he hugged me when I came back, the rumour mill would be flooding. So, what do they say?"

"That even though you're hiding it, you two are together."

Elizabeth couldn't help but chuckle. Teyla had reported many times in the past that the rumour mill had it that she and John were a couple. She guessed it went with the job; they were their leaders, the more exposed people of the City, and people couldn't help but be curious about them. And with the stress of everyday life in Atlantis and the Pegasus Galaxy, they needed something to unwind.

"Of course, there's another one about you..."

"Yes?" Elizabeth prompted when Teyla didn't continue.

"Well, according to the rumour mill, Mike Branton was seen entering your quarters the night you came back."

Elizabeth sighed. She had been so sure no one had spotted him, but she had obviously been mistaken. Someone did, and she wouldn't be surprised if people thought she was seeing the two men at the same time. She fought the urge to hide her face in her hands, reminding herself that she was in the commissary, and that there were people around.

"He heard that I was back, he came to say hi, and to ask me on a date."

"And you said no," Teyla stated, and Elizabeth just nodded in answer. "You never did tell me what happened when you had lunch with him..."

Elizabeth smiled at her friend's words, but she sobered up quickly, remembering what else had happened that very same day.

"The time was not appropriate. But since I guess you still want to know, we just talked, and... kissed." She paused, hoping that Teyla wouldn't ask for more, but when all she received was a pointed look, she continued. "It was nice, but it couldn't happen. I was his boss."

"But now, you aren't his boss anymore."

"No, I'm not. But..."

"But you don't want to date him," Teyla finished for her.

"Teyla..."

"Ok, ok. We won't talk about that. Not today, at least."

"Thank you," Elizabeth replied before looking at her watch. "I have to go. I have to write my mission report. Same hour, tomorrow?"

"Of course."

 

* * *

 

She wasn't really sure if she should be here. When she left her office, her intent had been to go to her own quarters, and sleep. But every time she closed her eyes, she could see the image of the small body they had to leave behind. An innocent child who had died for no reason.

Slowly, she passed her hand over the sensor, and let her presence known. She could hear footsteps coming closer to the door, and a few seconds later, it opened.

"Elizabeth?"

"Can I come in?"

Without saying a word, he stepped aside, letting her enter his quarters. She had seen the surprise on his face, she had heard it in his voice; he hadn't been expecting her at this late hour.

She didn't give him a chance to say another word; as soon as the door had closed behind her, she brought his face to hers and kissed him fiercely, leaving no doubt as to what she wanted, what she was here for.

"Elizabeth," he managed to say, breaking off the kiss. "What... what are you...?" He was at a loss for words; he didn't understand why she was doing that when a few weeks ago, she had been clear on their relationship.

"Just once, just tonight, just this one night," she murmured trying to recapture his lips, but he was avoiding it.

"But..."

"Make me forget," she said, and he understood that that had to do with what happened on the planet. "Make love to me. Please..., John..."

The way she said his name was his undoing. Tears could be heard in her voice, and only one thought remained in his mind: he wanted to change that.

Recapturing her lips, he kissed her, slowly, as his hands rested on her waist. Hers cupped his face for a moment, before she lowered them to his shirt, wanting nothing more than to unbutton it. But before she could complete her tasks, his hands stopped hers, and he took a step back. Her eyes found his, and she questioned him in a look.

"If we're going to do this, we're going to do this my way," he explained to her, and she blushed. "I don't want to rush things out, 'Lizbeth. What?" he asked as she suddenly smiled at him.

"Nothing. It's just that you have a way to forget the vowels of my name. And I like that," she said, her smile widening.

"Good. Now, I was saying that I wanted to take things slow. 'Lizbeth," he added, waggling his eyebrows, making her laugh.

He didn't leave her time to catch her breath, as his lips were on hers once more, his arms around her body pulling her flush against his.

 

* * *

 

She was laying on the bed, her head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat, her body pressed against his.

"What did you say again?" she asked, rising her head to look at him. "Oh yeah, you wanted to take things slow."

"I have to say for my defence that it's hard to resist you. But if you want slow, I can show you slow," he said, rolling them over so that he was on top, his hands pinning hers above her head. His lips descended on hers, but he stopped before they touched, and drew back. "But you said just once...," he whispered, remembering her words when she first entered his quarters.

"And then, I added 'one night'," she reminded him. "We have this one night, John. Let's make the most of it."

"And after that, you'll be gone..."

She didn't need to answer that; he could see the answer right there in her eyes. Deciding to forget everything but the present time, he lowered his head, and kissed her.

When John woke up the next morning, he wasn't surprised to see that the other side of the bed was empty. She was long gone, but she had left something behind. Just there, on the pillow, was a piece of paper. He took it, and read the two words that were on it. Thank you. Just two words, the only proof left that she had been there at all.

 

* * *

 

They had been in Kate's office for more than half an hour, and so far, James had been the only one to talk. Kate wasn't surprised that Elizabeth didn't say a word; she knew her enough to not hasten her. She would talk when she felt ready. But with the others, she didn't know what to do. She had read the reports, and if Elizabeth had been the only one to see the results of the attack, they had been there too.

"I can't help you if you don't talk," she finally said, and James sent her a smile. "Is this the first time that any of you had been in the middle of an attack?"

"It wasn't the first time for me," Sheila started. "I was working with Elizabeth during the attack where she injured her knee," she explained, and Elizabeth nodded. "It was different though. I don't know why, but to me, it felt different."

"The rogue Genii had only one motivation, and were ready to do everything to get to it," Elizabeth replied, knowing that it was time to explain to her team why they had been under attack. She and Lorne had decided to not tell their suspicions to General Watters, but to not hide the truth from any of their teams.

"And what was it?" Matthew asked.

"Me. Ladon, Lorne and I didn't believe it was a coincidence that they came just the day I was there."

"But you didn't tell the General about this during the debriefing?" James was surprised that they would keep this information from him.

"Because we have no other proof than our instinct. And I don't want this to jeopardize the possibility of renewing the alliance between Ladon's Genii and us."

"How did you feel when you understood that they had probably come for you?" Kate asked, wanting Elizabeth to continue speaking.

"I wasn't surprised, if that's what you're asking. Even with Kolya dead, I know that they still want both John and I dead."

"John more than you. He's the one who killed Kolya."

"No, I think they want me more than John."

"What makes you think that?" Kate asked, surprised.

"John and his team had been on this planet before. But the rogue Genii didn't come. They came when I was there, though. They want me because they know they can use me against John, if not against General Watters. Last time, Kolya tried to use John because I was the leader of Atlantis. They know they won't have the same leverage with Watters. Though, if they have me..." she trailed off, not wanting to say the words. "I'm sorry…"

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Doctor Weir," Tania said, her eyes trained on her former teacher. "When you asked us all to join your team, you made it clear that we could end up in dangerous situations. We knew what we were getting into."

Elizabeth was surprised to hear those words coming from Tania. She and Scott were those she had thought were the most affected by the attack, but she was still trying to make her feel better.

"It doesn't mean you were ready for that to happen."

"No. Scott and I have never been on a war field before, and we'll probably need time," she explained, and Scott nodded in agreement. "But I know for sure, that that won't stop me from going back out there."

Elizabeth and Kate watched as the rest of the team agreed with what Tania said. Suddenly, Elizabeth remembered what made her choose them, besides their references; they were all stronger than they appeared to be.

Silence fell on the group, and Kate knew that it was time to conclude the session for the day.

"I want to see you all back for group and individual sessions. I won't prevent you from going off-world, but I want to be sure you're in the right state of mind. Just so you know, the sessions aren't limited to what happened on Caris. You can talk about whatever you want. So, I'll see you all again tomorrow, same time. Elizabeth, can you stay for a minute?"

It was more of a strong suggestion than a real question, and Elizabeth nodded to her team to go ahead without her before turning back towards the psychiatrist.

"You wanted to know something else?"

"I've read your report. Why don't we talk about…"

"The little boy," Elizabeth interrupted her, knowing that it would come up at one point. "It was… I wasn't prepared for it. Though I guess we're never prepared for something like that. Seeing his lifeless body… I didn't want to leave him alone, outside of the village. It was Evan and Ladon who convinced me that we needed to go. I… Last night, whenever I closed my eyes, I saw him."

"Did you manage to get any sleep?"

She nodded in answer. It was true; after her lovemaking with John, she had managed to sleep for around two hours. She had been woken up by a nightmare where the young boy was blaming her for his death. She told Kate about that, leaving out the being in John's quarters and bed part.

"You're not responsible for what happened, Elizabeth…"

"I am. They came for me. I may not have pulled the trigger, but I'm responsible anyway."

Elizabeth lowered her head, not wanting Kate to see the tears that had welled up in her eyes. She might not be the leader of Atlantis anymore, but she still wasn't comfortable with other people seeing her weaknesses.

"We'll talk more about that at another time," Kate said, knowing that Elizabeth wasn't ready to hear that she did nothing wrong. "I'll see you tomorrow, along with your team."

Elizabeth left Kate's office without a word, and let her feet lead her to the infirmary.

She soon found herself a few feet from Ladon's bed, where a nurse was checking his vitals. She couldn't hear what was being said, but by the smile on his face, she guessed that he was feeling better. He finally spotted her when the nurse left, and gestured for her to sit on the chair beside the bed.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, wanting to be sure that her assessment was correct.

"I'm fine. It hurts, but your morphine is doing wonders," he added, and she giggled slightly before sobering up.

"I'm sorry…"

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Doctor Weir. I actually should thank you. Doctor Keller told me that you insisted that your General contact my people to le them know that I wasn't dead. You probably prevented a Coup d'Etat."

"And you wouldn't be here if you didn't have to come to our rescue."

"Don't think about that anymore, please."

"Colonel Sheppard told me that General Watters rescinded our alliance," she said, changing the subject. "I'm planning to talk him into reconsidering it."

"You really think he'll listen to you? I only met him once, and he was pretty opposed to the alliance between our two people."

"I know. I don't know him well enough, yet, and I've enlisted Colonel Sheppard's help. And I'm hoping that what happened yesterday can help us too. You and your men risked your life, so that Major Lorne, me and our teams could come back to Atlantis unharmed." She paused, taking a deep breath, before continuing. "And since you're here, I'd like you to help too."

"I don't know if it's a good idea, but I'll help you, if you want."

Elizabeth silently thanked him with a smile. With what happened the previous day, she was more resolute than ever to make sure to renew the alliance between the Genii and Atlantis.

"I see you feel better, Mr Radim," Jennifer said, coming towards them.

"Well, you take good care of me. And as I told you before, it's Ladon, please."

"Ok, then. The last check up sounds good," she said looking at the sheets of paper. "If everything stays that way, you should be on your way tomorrow."

"Thank you," he replied with a smile, and Jennifer sent one back to him as she left.

"You're such a flirt!" Elizabeth sighed, rolling her eyes. "Don't you have someone waiting for you at home?"

"Actually, no. And please, don't say another word, my sister's already trying to talk my ear off about that." He paused for a moment before continuing. "But it's not like it's easy to date someone when you're the leader of your people."

"I know. But it shouldn't be," she added. "Even a leader should be able to have a life without wondering what other people think."

"That's what you did?"

"No. And I regret it," she admitted. "Don't do the same thing as I did. Live your life as if you were any other man. It doesn't matter what others are thinking."

"Maybe I'll follow your advice," he said after having thought about it for a moment. "What about you now? Did you stop thinking about what others might say?"

"I try. I might not be the leader of Atlantis anymore, but it looks like I'm still the center of the rumour mill."

"You and Colonel Sheppard," he added, and a smile stretched his lips as she looked shocked. "I heard some people talking," he explained.

"What did you hear?" she asked, wondering if someone had seen her enter John's quarters last night, or had seen her leave in the early morning.

"Nothing precise," he replied, and he could see that she looked somehow relieved. "Were you expecting them to talk about something in particular?"

"No, no. Of course not," she answered quickly, and he too had an answer; she had been worrying over something. "Well, I'll leave you to rest, now. I'll try to get an appointment with General Watters before you leave, tomorrow."

Ladon nodded in answer, and watched as she left the infirmary. She seemed to be preoccupied with something, and he didn't feel it was his place to make her talk about it. He already felt like she had revealed a lot by talking to him about having a relationship while being a leader. Smiling at a nurse who was walking by his bed, he decided that Elizabeth was right. Maybe it was time for him to stop worrying about what his people might say, and find someone. Another good reason for him to follow her advice was that it would stop his sister's constant nagging about his lack of love life.

 

* * *

 

Elizabeth found herself outside the gym after she left Ladon. John, Ronon and Teyla were there, and the Pegasus natives were teaming up against their CO. He had to have done or said something to deserve such a treatment, and she couldn't help but wonder what.

They hadn't noticed her, and she didn't want to make her presence known, yet. She hadn't seen John since the early morning. She had left when he was still asleep, but she hadn't done that so that she wouldn't face him. She felt perfectly fine with what they did.

She couldn't help but chuckle slightly as John fell hard on the floor.

"Don't go and damage him," she felt the need to intervene, though she knew that Ronon would never hurt him intentionally. "He can still be useful."

"If he had practised, he wouldn't suffer any damages," Ronon replied.

"Oh come on! You're two against one. I already have no chance against you two on a one on one!"

"I have to agree with Ronon, if you practised more often, you could have a chance against us."

"And you also obviously have a lack of sleep," the Satedan added.

Elizabeth could feel her cheeks reddening; she didn't know how but both him and Teyla seemed to know about what occurred between John and her the night before. She waited for them to leave before going to sit beside John on the bench.

"Hi."

"Hi," he replied, before adding. "Is this going to be awkward?"

"I don't want it to be. Can we go talk somewhere else?"

"Sure. Meet me at the balcony in fifteen?"

She nodded, and stood up to leave. As she walked away from him, she swayed her hips just slightly, knowing that he was watching her. A smile crept on her face when she heard his sharp intake of breath just before she stepped in the hallway.

 

* * *

 

Elizabeth had been on the balcony for a good ten minutes when she heard the door open, then close again. She didn't need to turn to know who it was, and waited for him to join her at the railing.

"You ok?" he asked, putting his hand over hers.

"Yeah." She paused, taking a deep breath of the cool air and releasing it, before facing him. "Thank you, John."

"You have nothing to thank me for, Elizabeth."

"I do. And I'm sorry."

"What for?" he asked, surprised.

"For not being ready to give you more. I wish I could, but right now, I'm not able to."

"I know, and I understand. I'm glad I could help you last night, and if you ever need this kind of help again, you know where to find me," he added, and she couldn't help but chuckle. "We're fine, Elizabeth."

"We are," she nodded, smiling at him.

"Did you see Heightmeyer this morning?" he asked, changing the subject, concerned about how she was really feeling.

"Yes I did. And I'll see her again with my team tomorrow, and we'll also have individual sessions. You're reassured?"

He didn't reply, but sent her a smile instead, squeezing her hand.

"I have an appointment with General Watters, tomorrow. Ladon will be there too."

"When?"

"1130. You'll be there?" she asked, though knowing his answer already.

"Of course. Do you have a plan?"

"Do I need one?" she replied without missing a beat. "I already know what I want to say. It's sad to say, but yesterday's attack may help us in the end. We're not allied anymore, and Ladon put his life at risk to save us."

"I'll have to go and thank him," John said, seriously.

"You should go and talk to him. You'll find that you two have quite a few things in common."

"Care to give me an example?"

"He's a flirt just like you."

"Hey! I resent that! I'm not a flirt!" he said, before correcting himself at her pointed look. "Ok, I was. But I've changed," he added, and she could see that he was being sincere.

"Do you think General Watters will listen to us?" she asked him, worried that the meeting would be unsuccessful.

"I really don't know, Elizabeth. He doesn't know Ladon and the Genii like we do. His decision to rescind the alliance had been based mainly on reports."

"'Mainly'?" she repeated, feeling that John meant something by that.

"I think that someone had come talk to him about it."

"Who do you think it was?"

"Captain Taylor," he answered without missing a beat.

He had thought about it a few times over the last few months, and he didn't think that the fact that he saw Taylor talking to the general just days before he decided to rescind the alliance was just a coincidence. Though she had never talked about it with John or Elizabeth, Taylor had been quite opposed to it. She was a member of the expedition since the beginning and had been friends with the two men who had been killed when Kolya and his men had tried to take Atlantis. John wouldn't be that surprised if she had told General Watters that the alliance with the Genii could turn out to be a danger for Atlantis.

"If you're right," Elizabeth said after a long silence, "it'll be even more difficult to convince the general to reconsider his decision."

"I know. But we have to try."

"We owe that to Ladon," she added, nodding. She then frowned as John started to chuckle. "What?"

"Nothing. I just... I thought about what your brother would think if he ever learnt about what happened last night."

She raised an eyebrow at what he just said. She wondered what prompted that thought on a completely different topic than the one they had just been discussing. But she had to agree with him; Mike would probably say something if he were to learn that she had spent the night with John.

"Oh god... It'll probably be worse than after I kissed you when you had leave," she said, shaking her head, and chuckling along with him.

"You never told me about this."

"Let's just say that he spent the next few days teasing me about that kiss. Not to mention that some of Mom's neighbours saw us and kept asking about the 'handsome man that Lizzie was kissing in the street'," she added, trying to imitate the old ladies she had known for most of her life.

"They think I'm handsome?"

"Oh shut up! That wasn't funny, especially when they question you every time they see you."

"That was that bad?"

"You have no idea," she said, giggling.

"I wish I had been there to help you cope with them."

"Had you still been there, we wouldn't have kissed, so they wouldn't have harassed us with their questions."

"True."

A comfortable silence fell upon them as they looked at the ocean surrounding the City, their City.

Elizabeth was taking advantage of the quietness around them to think about the next day meeting with General Watters. She would have to use her best diplomatic skills to convince him that being allied with the Genii would benefit them more than it would harm them.

She was jolted out of her thoughts when John took her hand in his and squeezed it lightly. She didn't need to turn towards him to know that he was worried about her, and that he wanted to comfort her. She returned the squeeze and turned back her thoughts to the present time, knowing that she had given enough thoughts to her meeting with Watters.

 

* * *

 

Storming towards the railing, Elizabeth could feel the anger threatening to take over her. She had rarely felt so angry at another human being in her life before; she had always tried to find excuses before, but this time, she just couldn't.

General Watters hadn't listened to a word she was saying. He had dismissed her idea of renewing their alliance to the Genii, and had simply refused to listen to Ladon. As the meeting progressed, she could feel the tension rising in John, and if she hadn't put a hand on his arm, he would have probably spoken his mind to the General, and Elizabeth knew that it could have had consequences for his job.

She had felt the need to apologize to Ladon for what took place, but he had brushed it off, saying that it wasn't her place to do so. Slamming her hands on the railing, she revelled in the feel of the sting that came from it. She resisted letting out a scream, because people would come and check if she was fine, and she didn't want that.

Turning towards the door as she heard it open, she sighed in relief when she saw it was John. He had lingered in the control room for a few seconds as she had come here, having been asked to look at something by Chuck. She raised an eyebrow as she realised he wasn't moving further towards her.

"Fancy a work out?" he finally asked. "I've just checked and the gym is free for the next two hours if you want to let it out."

She had to smile at his words. He knew her better than anyone else, and he knew just how she was feeling at the moment, and what she needed. Nodding in agreement, she pushed away from the railing, and walked towards him as he opened the door.

"But you'll have to go easy on me, I'm still a bit sore," she teased him, making John squirm and look around to be sure no one had heard her.

 

* * *

 

Elizabeth and John ended up sparring until it was time for her session with Kate and her team. They had agreed to not talk about this moment to anyone, and especially not to Teyla, Rodney or Ronon, as she had beaten him quite a few times. The first time alone had convinced John that he should probably train more often, if Elizabeth, who had been badly hurt a little more than a year ago as he hated to remember, and who hadn't sparred since before her accident, had manage to beat the crap out of him as Rodney would put it.

As Elizabeth arrived at the session, a bit later than the rest of her team, Kate noticed that she somehow felt calmer than the previous day. She had expected to find her quite upset, as she heard that a meeting with General Watters went far from well. Wanting to know more about this, and hoping that she would be fine to talk about it in front of her team, Kate asked her the first question.

"How are you feeling today, Elizabeth?"

"Good. But since I think the rumour mill did a good job, yes, I was quite angry when I came out of my meeting with the general."

"And why is that? If you're ok to talk about it with your team being here," Kate added in an afterthought, wanting to give Elizabeth a way out if she needed it.

"They knew about this meeting. I wanted the general to reconsider the alliance with the Genii. It didn't come to me after Ladon and his men saved our life, I had it in mind since Colonel Sheppard told me that he had rescinded the alliance. But the fact that Ladon was there sped up the things as I wanted him to give the general his point of view. But he didn't listen to us."

"And you felt angry at him for that."

"Yes." She paused for a few seconds, and then continued, needing to voice something she had realised while sparring with John. "And I guess I was angry at myself too, in a way."

"Why's that?"

"Because I didn't manage to convince him. I felt that I failed Ladon and his men. The thing is, I stood up to so many political representatives of countries at war, I defied the System Lords, back when I was running the SGC, and I can't convince a general of the US Air Force that he was making a mistake."

"Elizabeth, you're not infallible."

"I know that. Just like I know that Ladon hasn't always been our ally, but since we involuntarily helped him with his coup, we had an understanding, before we finally brokered an alliance."

"Maybe General Watters just needs time to realise the value of an alliance with the Genii," James intervened.

"I don't think so. He really thinks it's too dangerous to have them as allies."

"And how did you calm down after that meeting?" Kate changed the subject, knowing that they couldn't do anything about it.

"I sparred with John until it was time to come here. I didn't know it could help me unwind completely. Before the accident, I sparred with Teyla only because John decided that was the condition for me to go off-world."

"You needed to learn to defend yourself, since you refuse to carry a sidearm," Kate said with a knowing smile, and Elizabeth nodded in answer.

"But today, it just made me forget everything."

"Exercising is good to evacuate the tension you might feel. And I'm saying this to all of you. With what happened the other day, I can only advise you to follow Elizabeth's example. Doctor Collins, do you want to talk about how you're feeling today?" she asked, turning to the older man.

 

* * *

 

Weeks had gone by, and Elizabeth found herself packing her bag. She was getting ready to go back to Earth for a week, to inform the IOA on the treaties with their allies. She knew they would want to talk about what happened on Caris, and she felt ready to defend the idea of pursuing the negotiations with Nilam's people, as soon as they found the traitor. She also thought about talking about their alliance with the Genii, but she felt that it would be a lost cause.

Though she would be on meetings at the SGC for the first few days, they had assured her that she would have the rest of the week off. She was looking forward going to see her mother, having left quite abruptly.

She was disturbed from packing when the door chimed.

"John!" she said as she opened the door, surprised to see him there.

"All ready to leave?"

"Almost. You know I'm coming back, right?" she said in a soft tone, seeing through his facade.

"I know."

"Good."

"You'll say hi to your mom and Sedge for me?"

"I will. They'd have loved to see you."

"I would have loved to see them too. It's too bad I couldn't have some time off too."

"You do know that I'm going to be in meetings with the IOA for most of the time, and it won't exactly be holidays for me?" she replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry about that." He paused, sending her a smile, before continuing. "You need a hand with something?"

"I only have one more thing to put in my bag, and I'm all done. And I don't think you really want to help with that."

"Why?" he asked, regretting it as he saw the mischievous look on her face.

"The only thing left to pack is my underwear."

John blushed at that, and shook his head, indicating that he indeed didn't want to help. She couldn't help but chuckle at that. She was wondering why she wasn't the one blushing at her own words, or why she wasn't even feeling uncomfortable talking about that with him. She finally guessed it was because he had seen her in her underwear, and even less, weeks ago. Not to mention the pictures her mother had shown him when he visited her.

Feeling the need to tease him once more, Elizabeth walked slowly towards him, needing to retrieve said underwear from the chest drawer that was behind him.

"I seem to remember you didn't mind helping with it, one night," she said, stopping beside him, and rising to brush a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

"Elizabeth," he whispered as a warning, "don't start anything you're not willing to finish."

It was her turn to blush at his words. She bit her bottom lip, and turned away from him, all thoughts of finishing packing leaving her brain.

"I'm sorry," she said, going to sit on her bed.

"Don't be. Never feel sorry or ashamed, or anything but happy and proud about the effect you have on me, Elizabeth," he told her, taking her face in his hands, before placing a kiss on her forehead. "Now, I should let you finish packing. I'll come and get you later for dinner."

"It's a date," she replied with a smile, as she watched him stand and walk to the door.

She stayed on the bed for a few minutes after he had left, thinking about him, herself, them.

Their relationship had progressed to an even closer friendship since the night they had spent together, and she knew that people around them were starting to wonder what was exactly going on between them. She knew because Teyla had asked her a few times, and she had evaded the question each and every time, not wanting nor willing to put words to what was happening.

She decided to finish packing to have time to get ready for her dinner with John; it might not be an official date or anything, but that didn't mean she didn't want to look pretty.

She stood up from her bed, but sat back down quickly, feeling slightly dizzy. She put a hand on her forehead, and closed her eyes, breathing deeply. She was glad that she was alone when it happened, because she knew that John would want her to go see Keller, even more so if she told him that it had happened a few times during the past few days. But she was pretty sure that the young doctor would tell her exactly what she already suspected: she needed rest. She had worked more in the past couple of weeks than she had during the last year because of her upcoming meetings with the IOA.

Feeling better, she resumed packing, thinking that she definitely needed a few days off at her mother's.

 

End of Part Three


	4. Chapter 4

Sitting heavily on the couch, she smiled gratefully at her mother as she walked towards her with a glass of water. She took it, and gestured for her to sit beside her.

"You ok?" Susan asked, and Elizabeth could hear her worry in her voice.

"Yeah, I'm perfectly fine. I'm just a bit tired. I had 24 hours of meetings over the past three days, and though I was ready for them..." She trailed off, knowing that her mother understood her.

"At least you can rest for the next few days. How long can you stay?"

"I have to take the plane back in three days. Until then, I'm all yours. And all yours, too," she added, chuckling as Sedge barked her approval.

"How's work going?" she asked, before quickly adding. "I know you can't give me any details, but you can at least tell me if everything's alright."

"Everything's fine, Mom. We have a lot of work, but I'm used to it."

"And how is John?" Susan asked, raising an eyebrow.

"He's fine. He told me to say hi to both you and Sedge."

"It's too bad he couldn't come with you."

"Mom..."

"I know, I know." She paused, then clapped her hands together and stood up suddenly, startling Elizabeth. "I thought I could make some of your favourite dishes for dinner. Do you want anything in particular?"

"It's okay, Mom. Don't bother. Actually, let me cook," she added as an afterthought. At her mother's raised eyebrow, she rolled her eyes. "It's not because I lived mostly on take-outs and Simon's cooking that I can't cook."

"I know that. And if you want to, I'll let you cook tomorrow. But for tonight, just rest, or better, take Sedge out," she said, as she watched the dog pace before the front door.

Sending a mock-glare to her mother, she walked towards her dog, and grabbing the leash and her jacket, she opened the door. She followed Sedge outside, calling her to fasten the leash on her collar. Not caring where they would go, she let the dog take the lead.

Elizabeth was glad when they finally arrived at the park, and she unleashed Sedge, before going to sit on a nearby bench, breathing heavily. The dizziness was back. Cursing herself and her body for not being able to go on with little rest as she had been used to since her doctorate, she quickly surveyed the area to be sure that no one she knew was around. If word that she had been seen like this came back to her mother, she knew she would fuss around her for the duration of her stay.

Expecting to see Sedge running as fast as she could around the trees before her, Elizabeth was surprised to see her sitting at her feet. Patting the dog's head in reassurance, she gestured for her to go, but was once more surprised when she just jumped on the bench, and laid down beside her, her head resting on her lap.

"You've been staying with Mom for too long," Elizabeth said with a smile on her face, stroking her. "You're beginning to act just like her." She paused, taking a deep breath. She was feeling better, the dizziness had left, but she wasn't willing to move just yet. "Let's just stay here for a while, and then we'll go home."

Elizabeth rested her back against the bench, and closed her eyes, confident that Sedge would warn her if anyone approached her. She breathed in the late September air, still warm from the last days of summer, but with that bit of cool from the autumn just waiting around the corner. The last time she had been there, on this very same bench, had been the day Richard Woolsey had called her back to Atlantis. It had been the middle of spring, and she just now realised that she had nearly missed the entire summer. It wasn't the first season she had missed, but it meant that she went back home, with her friends, the people she considered her family. If someone had told her that a year ago, she wouldn't have believed them.

 

* * *

 

The next day, a new wave of dizziness caught her as she was moving about the living-room, intending to give her mother a hand with the cleaning.

Susan noticed her sway on her feet, and caught her elbow to coax her onto the couch. She left her there, and went to grab a glass of water in the kitchen. Handing it to Elizabeth, she watched with concern as she took a sip, and then another before reaching to put the glass on the end table.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, don't worry. I just felt a bit dizzy, nothing else."

"How long has it been going on?"

"Around three weeks," she admitted, knowing that her mother would pester her until she had an answer. "But it's nothing really. I just haven't rested properly, but I promise you I'll take better care of myself from now on."

"That you'll do. And you'll start by going to see a doctor."

"Mom, I'm ok. I don't need to see a doctor, I need rest."

"What if it's something else?" Susan asked, and Elizabeth could hear the worry in her voice.

"Fine. If that can reassure you, I'll go see a doctor."

"Good. I'm going to call Simon and see if he can squeeze you in today."

"Simon?" Elizabeth repeated, surprised. "He's still your doctor?"

"Just because you aren't together anymore that doesn't mean he can't still have me as a patient."

"That's not what I meant, Mom. But... Can't I go see someone else?" she all but whined.

"Who knows how long you'll have to wait to see another doctor. At least, Simon knows that if you want to see him, it must be serious."

Elizabeth had to concede her that; she certainly didn't go see a doctor until absolute necessity, and Simon would remember that. Nodding her approval, she watched as her mother got up from the couch and grabbed the phone, before leaving the room. Though she couldn't make out the words, she heard her talk to who she was assumed was either Simon or a secretary. Sedge jumped on the couch, and settled against her. Elizabeth had to smile at that, though she felt sorry to worry both her mother and her dog, just because she wasn't getting enough rest.

"Well, he'll see you in the late afternoon, after his last patient."

"Good."

"Now, go and rest in your room for a while, and I'll finish here and prepare lunch."

Elizabeth wanted to argue, but she knew that it would be in vain, as her mother always had the last word. Instead, she just got up and gestured for Sedge to follow her out of the room.

Settling on the bed, she thought about the meetings of the last few days. They had gone well, and even better than she had expected. She had even been surprised when Woolsey started to talk about the Genii. Elizabeth happily provided all the information they needed, and at their request gave her advice about the alliance. The committee had been divided, and hadn't been able to reach a decision, but for the first time since she talked to General Watters, she felt confident.

Grabbing her laptop from the bedside table, she thought about working for a second, but then decided against it, and instead started a new game of solitaire. And maybe later, she could talk her mother into a chess game.

 

* * *

 

Elizabeth and Susan had been sitting in Simon's office for a few minutes, when the doctor finally came in. He greeted Susan first, before turning towards Elizabeth.

"It's good to see you, Elizabeth. You look great."

"Thank you. It's good to see you too."

"So, what brings you there? Susan told me on the phone that you have been feeling dizzy lately?"

"Yeah. But it's nothing really. I worked a lot these past few weeks, and haven't been getting enough sleep."

"That might be the explanation, indeed. But let's take a sample of your blood, just to be sure. Given the hour, we'll have the results soon," he said, as he was already taking her blood. "Come on, say it, I know you're dying to."

"Vampire," she replied with a smile.

"I'm going to get that to the lab myself," Simon told them, placing a band aid on Elizabeth's arm. "Wait for me here, I'll be right back."

"See?" Elizabeth turned towards her mother the second the doctor left. "Simon thinks it's nothing more than tiredness too."

"He said, it might be that. And we'll soon know if you're right."

"I don't see what else it can be. I'm perfectly fine. My last physicals have come clean of everything."

"Let's hope your usual doctor is right," Simon said, having heard her last line as he was opening the door.

"Doctor Keller might be young, but she's more than competent, otherwise, she wouldn't work there."

"I don't doubt it. But I thought your doctor was a Beckett," he said, remembering having heard of the name when Elizabeth had wanted him to come back with her to Atlantis.

"He was," she replied, her eyes clouded with sadness. "He was... He died two years ago."

"I'm sorry." He paused, not sure that he should say something else on the subject. "So, how long are you staying?"

"I came back for meetings, and I have a few days off until I have to go back."

Silence fell upon the three of them. Susan could see that Elizabeth wasn't that comfortable to be around Simon and she felt some guilt at having talked her into coming to see him. She knew what had happened between them, and while she had been angry at the doctor first, she finally understood his reasons; they had gone for months without a word from Elizabeth, without knowing when she would come back, and it had been a difficult time for all of them. He had waited for her at first, until they received her message where she told him to not wait for her anymore. But he hurt Elizabeth when he didn't tell her about the other woman in his life, and for that, Susan had been angry.

Clearing her throat, she decided that she should start a conversation, because if they were going to wait in silence for the results, it was going to be a long hour.

"If it's not Elizabeth's tiredness that's causing her dizziness, what else can it be?"

"There are a lot of causes for dizziness, Susan. It's probably one of the more common symptoms. It can be caused by hypotension, hypertension, the flu, dehydration, an ear infection, and even a caffeine overdose. And it might be just that now that I think about it," he said, looking at Elizabeth who smiled. "The cause may be benign or serious. We won't know until I have at least the first results. Just to be sure, you have no other symptoms?"

"No. None that I can think of," Elizabeth said, trying to remember if something had felt different for the last few weeks. She wasn't feeling too concerned, though; like she said her physicals would have revealed something if it was serious. "Mom has hypertension. Do you think that it might be that?"

"It's possible. In some cases, the hypertension can be hereditary. Let's take your blood pressure now. If it's normal, we'll be able to forget both the hypotension and the hypertension." Taking his stethoscope, he retrieved his manometer, and put it around Elizabeth's arm. "112/64. That's perfectly normal."

"Ok... So, what now?"

"We wait for the results. It shouldn't be long now."

And indeed, a few minutes later, a nurse came in with a sheet of paper. Simon took it and read it in silence, before looking up towards Elizabeth. His face was unreadable, and Elizabeth was getting worried. Susan was wondering too why he didn't say anything, but just look at the paper once more.

"Simon?" Elizabeth finally asked, tired of waiting for him to speak.

"You're pregnant."

"What?"

"Oh, Elizabeth, that's..." Susan started, before her daughter interrupted her.

"That's not possible. I can't be pregnant. That's just... Simon!" she exclaimed, starting to get slightly angry.

"I know, I know. But a blood test can't be wrong, Elizabeth. You're definitely pregnant."

"Not only it isn't possible, but the last time I had sex was over three months ago! I had all my periods, I didn't have morning sickness or any other symptoms, and look at me! I don't even look pregnant."

"Elizabeth, calm down, it's alright..."

"No, it's not, Mom. You don't understand. I can't be pregnant."

"Why can't you be?"

Surprised by her mother's question, Elizabeth looked towards Simon, who nodded at her in reassurance.

"When Simon and I were together, I caught an infection. It was quite serious, and it made me sterile. I can't have children, Mom."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I just never wanted to worry you about this."

"You should have told me, anyway," Susan replied, taking Elizabeth's hand in hers. "So what happened? If you're sure she's pregnant..."

"I don't know...," Simon answered, shaking his head. He had been surprised by the results too, but they couldn't be wrong.

"I think I do." She waited until she had their attention to continue. "I can't tell you much, but when I was injured, it was serious. I nearly died. I only owed my life to John, and a device he activated to heal me. I guess that without knowing, he healed that part of me too."

"I see. Now, about the fact that you don't look, and don't feel pregnant, I have an explanation. I think you had what we call a denial of pregnancy. From what you knew, you just couldn't be pregnant, so your body just hid all the usual signs. Now that you know, you'll see the changes pretty soon." He paused, waiting for Elizabeth to register what he had just said. "If you want, I can tell you when you're due," he said, calling the program he would need on his computer. At her nod, he continued. "Then I'll need the date of start of your last period."

"What about the conception date?"

"That would work too, if you're sure of it."

"That's the one and only time I had sex in the last three years. So believe me, I'm sure of..." She stopped, suddenly remembering her mother was in the room, and blushed. "June 11th," she just said, looking at her hands.

Susan said nothing, but just smiled as Simon entered the date in the program. She knew she would be able to talk to her daughter more freely once they were home.

"Your due date is March 4th. Now, do you want me to make an appointment with one of the Ob/Gyn I know?"

"No, it's ok. I'm going to wait until I'm back to work."

"Whatever you want. I guess congratulations are in order."

"I guess, yeah..."

Elizabeth was still feeling unsure of what had just happened to her, what she had just learned. She was pregnant, with John's child, after just a night spent with him. And in just a few days, she would have to tell him.

 

* * *

 

Elizabeth was standing in front of the mirror in her room, trying to see if there was any change on her body yet, when there was a knock on her door.

"Come in, Mom."

She had been expecting her. She was actually surprised when her mother talked about a completely different subject during dinner, but she knew she would soon come and find her. Susan had questions that she needed to answer, and some answers were long overdue.

"You know, I feel a bit hurt that you didn't tell me about your sterility."

"I know, and I'm sorry, Mom. It happened just a few weeks before Timmy was born. I didn't want to ruin the mood, and to be honest, I didn't want to talk about it. You know, before that infection, I hadn't really thought about having children. But after..." A tear fell down her cheek, and she wiped it away quickly. "This baby is just a miracle," she added in a breath.

"Well, you have to promise me and that you and John will come back as often as you can so I can see my grandchild. And don't try to deny that this baby is John's. I know you."

"We're not even in a relationship..."

"Do you want to?"

"He wants to."

"But what do you want?"

Elizabeth let out a sigh. She had given it more than a few thoughts during the last few weeks as she and John had grown closer. And she always came to the same conclusion.

"I want that too. But what if it doesn't work?" she voiced the thought that always kept her from going to talk to John. "Now we're not alone anymore, there's this baby too."

"I wouldn't worry about that. Now, what about I take you shopping tomorrow? You'll need maternity clothes, and a few others things. Oh, and you should probably call your brother."

"Do I have to? I'd rather not tell anyone else until I talked to John."

"Ok, then. I'll give him the news once you've left, if you'd rather."

"Thank you, Mom," Elizabeth replied, hugging her. "Would you tell me what to expect from now on?"

"Where would the fun be if I did?" She paused, gave a smile to her daughter, and resumed talking. "But since we won't see each other a lot during the rest of your pregnancy, if at all, let me tell you about the times I was pregnant with you and Mike."

Elizabeth nodded, and sat more comfortably on the bed, her back resting on the headboard as her mother started to talk. Without her really noticing it at first, her hand came to rest on her still flat belly and started to rub it.

 

* * *

 

She had been back on Atlantis for less than an hour when she found herself before the door to John's quarters. She was feeling nervous as to what was going to happen. Knowing that the longer she was waiting, the harder it would be, she waved her hand before the control panel.

"Hey!" John greeted her as he opened the door. "I thought you'd be back later, otherwise I would have been in the control room."

"It's alright. Can I come in?" she asked, as he hadn't moved from the threshold, yet.

"Of course, yes, please do." He stepped aside to let her enter, and hugged her as soon as the door was closed. "Missed you."

"Missed you too," she said, returning the hug and hoping that he wouldn't feel the small bulge that popped out the morning after she had learned that she was pregnant. "Did anything interesting happen when I wasn't here?"

"Not really," he started, and then paused to think. "Actually, yes, something did happen. McKay has finally found out that we have a video of him with that arrow in his ass," he said with a big grin.

"How did he find out?"

"Zelenka threatened to use it against him. I can't blame him; McKay was getting really annoying since he learned that Carter, who was supposed to come, had to cancel."

"Yes, I saw her at the SGC just before I left. She was looking forward to coming back, but she had been called into DC for a meeting."

"Did anything interesting happen while you were on Earth?" he asked, returning her question, before adding quickly. "And how's your mother?"

"She's fine. She hopes you'll be able to come along next time I'm going to see her."

"I'll try to."

"Something did happen," she said, answering his first question. "Can we sit down?" she asked, gesturing for the bed.

"What is it, Elizabeth? You're getting me worried there," he said, sitting down beside her. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. I'm..." She bit her lower lip, wondering how she could possibly tell him. "I've been feeling dizzy these past few weeks, but I thought it was just because I was tired."

"But it wasn't just that..." John finished for her. "Is it serious?"

"No... Well, I guess in a way, it can be, but..." She paused once more, released a sigh, and decided to finally bite the bullet. "I'm pregnant."

"What?"

"I'm pregnant," she repeated, though she knew he heard it the first time, and just needed time for it to sink in; she knew she did. "It's yours. My doctor thinks I had a denial of pregnancy, which is why I didn't get all the usual signs." She had felt the need to explain what had happened, as she didn't want him to think that she had been hiding it from him. "John, are you ok?" she asked, when he stayed silent for more than a minute.

Without saying a word to her, he stood up from the bed, and left his room.

Elizabeth was stunned by his reaction; she hadn't expected that. She knew he would be surprised, but she didn't think he would walk out on her without a word. She suddenly felt out of place being in John's quarters while he wasn't there. Rising quickly to her feet, she left the room too, walking quickly towards the uninhabited parts of the City.

Sitting down on the floor in one of the corridors, she drew her knees up to her chest, and rested her forehead against them. She couldn't help thinking about what had just happened, and what it meant. While one part of her tried to reason that John had just been surprised, and that she should have waited for him in his quarters, a second part kept telling her that it just showed that despite what he had told her, John had never really wanted a relationship with her and had got what he wanted when she slept with him. And for the moment, despite thinking that she might be overreacting, the latter was winning.

She didn't know how long she had been sitting there, when she heard footsteps coming her way. She didn't have time to stand up before they turned the corner and spotted her. Elizabeth let out an audible sigh when she realized that it was Rodney.

"Elizabeth? You ok?" he asked.

"Yeah. What are you doing here?"

"I saw a life sign on this part of the City, and given the hour, I wanted to check it out," he explained, sitting beside her. "What are you doing here?"

"I just needed to get away for a while."

"You just came back today, and you already want to get away from us?" he replied, teasing her.

Letting out a chuckle, she realized once more how much Rodney had changed since she had first met him. The Rodney she first met wouldn't have cared that much about others, and probably wouldn't have tried to make her feel better. Resting her head against his shoulder, she closed her eyes. Since she had come back, she had spent more time with John, and she now felt like she had been neglecting her other friends somehow.

"You know, when I was sent back to Earth, your book helped me a lot. So, thank you."

"You don't have to thank me."

"I mean it, Rodney. Your book about me really touched me. I didn't know you were thinking like that about me."

"I do. You're a great leader, Elizabeth, and I wish that one day the IOA will understand that you're the only leader that Atlantis needs."

"Maybe you should send them your book."

"Maybe," he joked along with her.

She hugged him sideways. It was a bit awkward, but she needed it. As he let her go, his right hand brushed against her belly, and his eyes widened.

"Yeah, I know. I'm pregnant," she just told him.

"Wow, that's... Wow! Congratulations, Elizabeth!" he replied, hugging her once more. "Does Sheppard know?" he asked, and felt her tense in his arms. "What did he do?"

"Nothing. And that's the problem, I guess. I told him that I was pregnant and he said nothing, and did nothing else but leave his own quarters." She paused and felt Rodney's arms tighten around her. "I didn't even know I was pregnant until a few days ago..."

"I'm going to talk to Sheppard...," he started, already standing up but Elizabeth held him back.

"Don't. I think he needs time, and I need time, too. Can we just stay here for a little while?"

"Of course," he answered, letting her settle back against him. "Tell me, how far along are you?"

"A little more than three months. I'm due on March 4th. You're actually the first to know about it, besides my Mom."

"I'm feeling honoured by that."

"You should," she replied, looking up at him from where her head was still resting on his shoulder.

"Oh! Can I test you for the ATA gene?"

"I don't have the gene," she reminded him, wondering how he could have forgotten that.

"I know you don't. But this baby is Sheppard's, and Sheppard has a strong gene. I'd just like to know if he passed the gene onto the baby."

"You won't be using my baby for your experiment," she warned him in a sharp voice.

"I won't, I won't," he promised her. "I just want to see if you can use the gene while you're expecting this baby."

"Do you think that's possible?" she asked, and he nodded in answer. "Ok, then. We'll do it," she agreed, settling back against him.

"Promise me one thing, though," Rodney said, after a few moments of silence.

"What is it?"

"Don't name this baby Meredith."

"I promise," she said, chuckling.

"Oh, and don't make me babysit. I'll do whatever you want, as long as I don't have to babysit."

Elizabeth couldn't help but laugh this time. Rodney's aversion to children was well-known amongst Atlantis' inhabitants. Everyone knew that there was only one child that he could stand: his niece, Madison.

"You won't have to babysit if you don't want to. Don't worry."

"Good, good."

"Though I wouldn't let John know that you'd do anything as long as you don't babysit, if I were you. He'd use it against you."

"Good advice."

 

* * *

 

After having spent a long moment in the empty hallway, Rodney and Elizabeth walked back towards the residential area of the City. As they rounded one last corner, they spotted John waiting in front of Elizabeth's quarters. He turned and saw them too, but didn't move.

"Do you want me to talk to him?" Rodney asked, ready to tell his friend to leave if Elizabeth needed him too.

"No, it's ok. I can handle this. Thank you for lending me an ear when I needed it."

"Anytime."

He left, but not without squeezing her hand one last time, and giving John a look first.

As she watched him, she was finally able to put a word to what he represented to her. He was more than just a friend; he was like a brother to her, and he had proved it by being there for her. He had sought her out, even if he didn't know that she needed someone, just like a brother would do. She knew that if she were to tell Mike that, he wouldn't understand at first how someone she didn't know five years before could be like another brother to her.

Pushing these thoughts out of her mind for the moment, she turned back to look towards John who still hadn't moved from his spot by her door. His gaze locked on hers as she made her way towards him, and opened her door. She entered her quarters first, without a word, and he followed her in.

"I think we... I need to talk about earlier." He paused, licking his lips, then continued. "I wasn't expecting this."

"Me neither, John."

"I can't do this...," he started, and Elizabeth interrupted him.

"I see," she said sharply. "It's ok. Look, I haven't told you because I wanted anything from you, but because I'll very soon not be able to hide it anymore. I can take care of this baby by myself," she paused, taking a deep breath to keep the tears at bay. "I understand that you've got what you wanted from me and don't want to deal with the consequences. Leave now, I need to be alone," she said, going to stand in front of the large windows.

"Elizabeth..."

"I said: get out," she repeated on a harder tone.

The tears were threatening to fall, but she let them roll freely on her cheeks only after she heard the door close behind him. Placing her hands protectively on her belly, she looked down.

"It's just you and me, now, baby. But we're going to make this work. We have to."

 

* * *

 

The next morning found John wandering in the hallways. He hadn't slept the night before; he kept thinking about Elizabeth, and the baby she was carrying.

His feet brought him before Rodney's lab, and he entered, knowing that the scientist would probably be alone. He wanted to know what he and Elizabeth had been talking about the previous day, but he was sure that the scientist wouldn't tell him.

"If you hurt her, Sheppard...," Rodney left the threat open, but John knew that he was serious. Rodney waited for a comeback from John, but when he didn't, he sighed, and looked up at him. "What did you do?"

"I told her that I couldn't do it."

"What? Have a baby with her? Well, news flash, it's already in the making."

"You don't understand, McKay."

"Well, why don't you try to explain it to me, then?"

"I didn't really have a good role model growing up."

"You think I did?" Rodney snorted. "God, Sheppard. Elizabeth loves you and you love her, so I don't see why you couldn't do it. And don't you think that maybe this child is your chance to not repeat your father's mistakes? I'm sure Elizabeth told you all this," he started, but then he saw John's face. "You didn't tell her."

"She didn't let me..."

"You should have made her listen. But no, you have given up. Go see her now. She's in the infirmary. Go."

"The infirmary? Is she...?"

"She just wanted to see Keller to inform her."

John nodded, and turned to leave. But as he made it to the door, McKay's voice stopped him.

"I was serious earlier, Sheppard. You better not hurt her. I love her, not the same way you do, but..."

"I know. And I knew you were serious."

He left the lab, and walked towards the closest transporter.

As he entered the infirmary, he spotted Keller disappearing behind a curtain. Not seeing anyone else around, he guessed that if Elizabeth was still there, she should be behind that curtain, and he followed Keller's steps. He heard Elizabeth's voice coming from behind the curtain, and was ready to let them know he was there, when he heard a sound that he couldn't identify at first. As he listened, he finally recognized it, and his breath caught in his throat. He listened as Keller and Elizabeth started to talk, but as he heard footsteps coming, he quickly left.

 

* * *

 

Rodney was looking at an Ancient artefact one of the teams had found in the ruins of a Temple, when John entered his lab.

"What are you doing here? I thought you agreed to go talk to Elizabeth?"

"I did. I went to the infirmary, and she was still with Keller." He paused, releasing the breath he didn't know he had been holding, and sat down. "I think I heard the baby's heartbeat. It was strong, and fast-paced, and... This is real."

"Do you know what you want to do, now?"

"I think."

"Great. Well, now that you're here, could you try making this work?" McKay asked, handing the artefact over to John.

"I thought I had to go talk to Elizabeth."

"Yes, you have to, but first, make this work. I have no idea what this is, so it's time to find out."

"Do you really think it's safe?" John asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Since when are you concerned?"

"Since I'm going to be somebody's dad," John retorted, without really thinking about it. "Wow! I'm really going to be a dad."

"Yes, you are," Rodney replied, a small smile on his lips.

"And if I were you, I'd be concerned too," he continued, getting back to their previous conversation. "I think Elizabeth would be pretty upset if something happened to me."

"Yeah, maybe. Now, that you've expressed your concerns, would you mind turning this on?"

John rolled his eyes at his friend, but did as he was asked. When nothing exploded, he decided that he was safe for the time being.

 

* * *

 

Elizabeth was sitting on her bed, reading one of the books she had brought back from Earth, when the door chimed.

As she went to open the door, she realized that with the t-shirt she had changed into, she was showing, but that she didn't really care. But after the door had opened, and she found herself facing John, who had spotted her belly and was looking intently at it, she started feeling a bit self-conscious.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, visibly jolting him from his thoughts.

"I... Can I talk you?" he asked, licking his lips.

She didn't answer but just stepped aside to let him in. He entered the room, and turned around to face her. Her face was unreadable, as if she was hiding it behind a mask. He understood that he hurt her the day before by his reaction, but he hoped that he hadn't messed it up completely.

"You didn't let me explain yesterday why I told you that I couldn't do this."

"I don't need you to explain...," she interrupted him.

"No, listen to me. I didn't have the perfect childhood. Oh, it's not that I didn't get whatever I asked for, it was quite the contrary. But my father was always working, his job was his first priority and my mom, brother and I came second. If not third sometimes. I don't know how to be a father, Elizabeth, and I certainly don't want to make the same mistakes mine did. But McKay told me that I could give this baby what I didn't get. And I realised that by walking away from you and the baby, our baby, I would do the same thing my father had done."

"What are you saying, John?"

"I came to find you earlier," he continued, ignoring her question for the moment. "McKay told me you were in the infirmary to talk to Keller, and I went there. You were still with her, and... I heard a sound. This was the baby's heart, right?" he asked, already sure that it was, and Elizabeth nodded, tears in her eyes. "That made it real. Listening to the heartbeat made it all real, and I can't walk away from this. I want to do this. I want to be the father of this child."

"You already are," she replied, as a tear made its way down her cheek. "Are you sure?" she still felt the need to ask.

"Yeah. But there's another thing I want you to know." He paused, and waited for her to look at him before continuing. "I didn't get what I want from you. I didn't just want to sleep with you, and I thought I had made myself very clear."

"You did. I guess that I just overreacted. Can we blame the hormones?" she asked, with a smile.

"We can for this time. But don't think you can always use them as an excuse."

"Got it."

Walking to her, he gathered her in his arms, and she held on as if he was her lifeline. She felt him burying his face in the side of her neck, and placing a few kisses there. She smiled, and then moved her head, when she realised that there was one more thing that she had to tell him.

"Why did you move?" he complained.

"I want to be with you," she said, ignoring his question.

"You're with me, right now," he replied, not really understanding what she meant.

"No, not like that. I want to give us a try, John. I'm not saying this because of the baby," she continued, knowing that he might think that. "I've thought about it, and I'm ready for this, now."

Without saying another word, he lowered his head to hers, and kissed her. Breaking the kiss, he tightened his arms around her, and her head found its way back on his shoulder.

"You know, it's weird. I can feel that your stomach is bigger."

"Try waking up the morning after you learnt you were pregnant, to find that it just popped out during the night," she joked, before sobering up. "Oh god, I'm going to be fat!"

"No, you won't. You'll just look pregnant."

"You say that now, but just wait a few months..." She paused and took a step back from him. "Come here," she said, taking his hand, and leading him to her bed. She wrapped her arms around him, as she sat on his lap at his request. "There's something you should know."

"Is there something wrong with you or the baby?" he started to get worried.

"No, no, nothing like that. We're both fine. Remember when you saved my life using that Ancient device?" she asked, though she knew that neither of them could forget that moment. "You did more than that. More than we thought you did. When I was with Simon, I got an infection that left me sterile. You didn't only save my life, you fixed that part of me too. This is why I didn't know I was pregnant, why my body didn't show the signs. I was sure I could never be pregnant."

She could see that John was at a loss for words, and she kissed him, wanting him to understand what he had done for her that day.

"So... have you thought about names for the little one?" he asked, putting his hand on her belly, wishing to feel it move already.

"Yeah. If it's a girl, I'd like to call her Mila. Its origin is Spanish and it means miracle. And well, this baby is sort of a miracle."

"Mila," he repeated, letting it roll on his tongue. "I like it. We're definitely calling our daughter that, be it this baby, or the next one."

"The next one?" she squeaked.

"Oh yeah! I want loads of babies with you."

"Do you realise that at my age, the chances of getting pregnant get slimmer and slimmer every day, and that it's a real miracle that I did fall pregnant after only one night with you?" she said, and he just grinned in answer. "Your ego is going to get bigger than Rodney's. I should have never said that," she groaned.

"Do you seriously think that anyone can beat Rodney and his ego?" he asked, and as she thought about it, she knew he was right. "We have to find a way to thank him, by the way."

"Yeah. Do you have anything in mind, yet?"

"No, but I'll find something. So do you have any cravings yet? You'll have to limit yourself to our supplies though. I'm not sure General Watters would let me go back to Earth in the middle of the night because you want something we don't have here," he said, making her laugh.

"God, Sheppard! How can I be in love with a crazy man like you?"

"You love me," he repeated, his grin getting bigger.

"Yes. Yes, I do."

"Good. Same here," he said, capturing her lips in another kiss.

"Mom wants you to come next time I go and visit her," she told him between two kisses.

"We're kissing, and you think about your Mom? I thought I was better than this," he pouted.

"Oh, you are. Anyway, she wants you to come."

"I'll be there. So, I take it she knows."

"Yeah, and I didn't even have to tell her. She guessed right away that this baby was yours. She bought us some books too, including one for you," she continued, standing up, and going to retrieve the stack of books that was sitting on her desk.

"What to expect when you're expecting, What to expect when your wife is expecting, Baby names," he read the titles of the first three books, but stopped as he saw the title of the fourth one. "Tell me that's not what I think it is," he begged Elizabeth.

"I can't. It really is the Kama Sutra."

"Oh god..."

"You're embarrassed now, but just think about how I was feeling when we were at the book store and she put this book in my hands," she said, and he winced, sympathetically. "She told me that we'll need it since it explains the positions you can do while you're pregnant. I told her that I really didn't want to know how she knew that."

"You and me both, you and me both. Did you buy anything else?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Some maternity clothes, and those cute baby shoes," she said, taking the box from where it was resting on her bedside table, and handing them to him. "So, what now?"

"Now, I'm going to take you to a real date."

"Don't you think we're past that stage?"

"No," he replied with a smile.

"Well, ok then. But too bad for you that I don't kiss on the first date," she teased him. "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to get ready," she said, turning him towards the door.

John chuckled, but didn't leave right away. Instead, he watched her enter the bathroom, and wondered for a second if she would be angry at him if he followed her there. Deciding not to try his luck, he finally left her quarters, and walked towards his quarters. He would get ready too, and then he'd try asking the botanists if he could have some flowers.

Life was going to change for good very soon, and he believed that it would be for the better too.

 

Fini.


End file.
